Is She Giving Me Signals?

Home / Forums / Advice & Chat / Is She Giving Me Signals?

  • Author
    Posts
  • September 30, 2022 at 7:47 pm #1116284

    Hello!

    This is a little awkward for me, but here it goes…

    I don’t read social cues well. Never have. Anyway, I’m writing asking advice on whether this woman is interested in me or not.

    It all started a couple of months ago. I had lost my driver’s license and debit card. I went to the bank to close my old card and get a new one. The bank manager was very helpful, sweet, and kind. (She’s also VERY attractive.) I thanked her and went on my way, thinking nothing more of the encounter.

    I went back a couple of weeks later to order some checks. The bank manager is at one of the windows. She sees me come in and starts talking to me, asking how my job is going (I recently moved to town) and if I liked it. We chatted and I left, again, thinking nothing more of the encounter. (I didn’t want to assume anything.)

    Today, I go to the bank to deposit a check. Again, the bank manager is in the lobby, and she approaches me, asks, “How’s the new gigs?” I tell her fine, finish my deposit, and I leave. As she’s talking to me, she’s looking right at me, as if she’s genuinely interested, but I don’t know. I don’t want to assume things.

    Am I thinking too much in this? If she is interested in me, how do I go about asking her out? She’s a bank manager, after all. Any advice would be appreciated.

    Upstart Hyena.

    Reply
    September 30, 2022 at 10:22 pm #1116287

    No. It’s her job to be nice and helpful to customers and it’s not appropriate to ask her out at work. See if there’s any activities like meet up groups in your new town so you can meet people in more casual settings and get to know them.

    Reply
    October 1, 2022 at 5:43 am #1116288

    What Tui said. She’s a professional person who’s good at her job.

    We get so many letters from men who think a woman in a work setting is interested in them because she is pleasant, smiling, and makes eye contact. 1) she’s just doing her job, and 2) never ask someone out at their work. They are there to earn a paycheck, not to date.

    Reply
    Fyodor
    October 1, 2022 at 7:40 am #1116293

    If you pay $500 for my PUA course I will reach you all the secret attraction signals that will let you know if the bank teller or Starbucks barista secretly wants to bang you as well as how to manifest an aura of dominance that will reel them in.

    Reply
    Fyodor
    October 1, 2022 at 7:49 am #1116295

    Seriously though, it’s her job to be friendly to customers. She does not want to date you. Do not bother people at their jobs. You put them in a very uncomfortable position because they can’t walk away like someone in a normal social situation.

    There are a gazillion ways to meet women. Join a club. Create an online dating profile. There is some nice lady out there who would like to date you. Find that person and do not bother the lady trying to set up your checking account.

    Reply
    Fyodor
    October 1, 2022 at 7:53 am #1116296

    Also it’s just extremely corrosive to women professionally when men act this way. It diminishes her in the eyes of her coworkers, many of whom seize on this opportunity and stop seeing her professionally and make her the object of jokes.

    Reply
    Anonymousse
    October 1, 2022 at 10:17 am #1116297

    Making eye contact does not mean she’s interested in you. It’s just literally a thing humans do when they are talking to another human.

    Everyone covered it. She has shown no interest in you, other than as a valued customer of her bank. She’s good at her job and remembers talking to you before. It does not mean she is interested in you.

    Reply
    Avatar photo
    October 3, 2022 at 11:10 am #1116333

    I missed this one. Everyone else nailed it, but I’m always kind of amazed how many men write in asking if a woman they’ve barely interacted with is into them because she was nice, looked at them, and/or smiled.

    Reply
    Anonymousse
    October 3, 2022 at 2:42 pm #1116336

    We truly can’t win. Either we’ve got bitch face on and we’re intimidating and unapproachable or a slight glance is a come on.

    Reply
    October 3, 2022 at 4:17 pm #1116338

    I really feel for women who deal with the public.

    Reply
    PassingBy
    October 4, 2022 at 8:17 am #1116340

    If she wants to date you, she will ask you to go on a date.

    Reply
    LisforLeslie
    October 4, 2022 at 11:00 am #1116342

    If this employee were a man you’d feel flattered that this person remembered you and made you feel that your business was important and valued. Because this is a woman, you’ve interpreted this as that you are important and valued as a potential dating partner and have completely ignored the fact that she is attempting to make your customer experience pleasant.

    You’ve completely dismissed her professional manner because of her gender.

    Reply
Reply To:

Is She Giving Me Signals?

Your information: