Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Is she really pregnant?

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This topic contains 36 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by avatar carolann 5 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #742038 Reply

    So i was seeing this girl on and off for months, she wanted to be together but I ultimately decided that that’s not what I wanted. Anyways one night she asked to meet up at this bar so we could hang out and see if we could give it one last chance before she gives this other guy a chance who she said asked her ouy. Well we ended up coming home and having unprotected sex in which I did *** inside her, she claimed she was on birth control. Anyways a few days later I told her ultimately it wasn’t going to work and she should give this other guy a shot. She wasn’t happy about this.

    Anyways we barely talked for a while then about 10 days after sex she texts me taking about random stuff then after a couple hours she says oh and I think I might be pregnant FML. I already suffer from anxiety so needless to say this had me freaking out. She said she wasn’t due to get her period until 4 days from then and says the day we had sex was the day she started ovulating. She said she thought she was pregnant because of spotting or something about reading some of the symptoms she was having were early signs. So she said she took 2 pregnancy tests, the 2nd being at 10 days after sex and they were negative but told me it could be a false negative and to wait 4 days to see if she got her period. So I felt a little better and then got a Snapchat of her drinking wine so assumed I was in the clear, anyways she messages me a couple days later after we didn’t talk for those few days and said oh by the way I think we’re good then proceeds to talk about random stuff. So I figured after that no more worried. Wrong, I saw her at the bar on Saturday night and she was being belligerent and calling a friend we were with a very derogatory name, then proceeded to show up at my house at 3 AM and begin banging on the door, she refused to leave after 20 minutes unless I came out and talked to her and so I cracked open the door to outside and talk to her and she and 2 friends barged in the door and began being belligerent which caused 2 friends of mine that are female to begin fighting while me and another friend tried breaking it up. So she messages me the next day and claims one of those girls broke her thumb and saying other belligerent things. Then calms down and says she is going to get a splint put on and I stopped responding to her after a while, this is on the Sunday she claimed a while back she was supposed to start her period but didn’t say anything of it. Anyways we don’t talk for for a few days until Thursday night around 11 she texts me and says I went to the doctor today by the way….. So obviously my heart dropped. And then proceeded to tell me how she is going to take care of it (meaning abortion) and saying she could neve4 want to have a kid with me and all this. I asked her why Iit took so long after her missed period (Sunday) for her to tell me about this (Thursday) she said when the doctor went to give he4 an xray he asked if she might be pregnant and said she didn’t know so they gave her a test. But when I asked her why didn’t give her a test on Sunday when they did the first xray and put the splint on? And she said they must have forgot. So I said fine well send me a picture of the results and she said the doctor didn’t give her any but she can email him and ask him for some. So obviously I’m frustrated as can be because I have major anxiety, and she has been known to do some things in her past relationships from what I heard but never anything like this.

    So anyways after a few more days of not talking she posts a tweet saying something like “have to make a decision between my beliefs and what I know is best for me in the long run” I’m assuming referring to abortion. So I can’t tell if this girl is just messing with me or If she really is pregnant. Just kind of wanting to hear some feedback from others. Sorry this was so long.

    #742040 Reply
    Northern Star

    When you have unprotected sex (or even protected sex), there is ALWAYS a chance the girl will get pregnant. She could be telling the truth or lying or not even on birth control.

    In future, don’t have sex with a girl you don’t like or trust. You’ll just have to deal with your anxiety until you find out for sure that A.) she’s pregnant, B.) she’s keeping it, and C.) the baby is yours.

    #742041 Reply

    Ok, I mean this lovingly, but you are way too dumb to be having sex.

    Anyway. I kind of think she’s messing with you. A) she has a motive to mess with you because she’s pushed. B) if you’re “on birth control” that’s hormonal, you don’t ovulate, so that sounds like bullshit. C) I skimmed the rest of it after that but it sounds like bullshit bullshit and more bullshit.

    Just tell her to get in touch if she wants to cut the bullshit and show you a positive test and would like some support. Then ignore her. Don’t keep reacting and giving her what she wants.

    And omg please stop having sex or at least always use a condom.

    #742042 Reply

    *she’s pissed. Autocorrect.

    #742043 Reply

    Well first its an ultrasound not an xray. If she said xray good chance that’s a lie, or she’s dumb, both sound plausible. Second, just have her take a damn test and show you. This isn’t rocket science. Hope she does have an abortion because she sounds like a freaking disaster, drama, mess.

    #742044 Reply

    Yes, do what Kate said. Tell her to go away until she can produce a copy of a positive pregnancy test result. I’d go even farther and say tell her to go away until she gives birth to an actual baby, and if she thinks its yours, her lawyer can contact you to set up a paternity test.

    I also think she’s full of it. She’s mad that you didn’t want to date her, and she thinks she can keep you on the hook this way. Just stop talking to her. Every time you respond, you’re encouraging her to keep up this BS.

    But please, learn the lesson. No unprotected sex EVER, unless you’re actually trying to conceive a child. You knew she was unhinged, and you still believed her when she said she was on birth control. Don’t do that. Aside from having baby anxiety, having unprotected sex with random women is a good way to pick up an STD.

    #742045 Reply

    Honestly, it really sounds like she is fucking with you. But there is a chance she isn’t.
    So tell her to bring proof. An ultrasound.
    When she shows you the picture, see if her name and a current date are in the frame of it. *apparently this is a thing that people fake.

    I highly doubt the x Ray story. A splint is generally the method to healing a broken finger. There would likely not really be a need to have an X-ray, but two at different times is very suspect.
    They don’t give you a test at first-if they are X-raying your finger/hand- they lay a lead apron over your body…and do the X-ray. Maybe afterwords she had a test….so that all sounds like bs to me.

    Edited for words and stuff

    #742046 Reply

    JD you’re misreading, they asked if she was pregnant before giving an xray for her broken thumb because the xrays aren’t good for a fetus. which is true, I remember even the dentist asking before tooth xrays.

    That said, she could still very well be lying about the pregnancy or even about the xray. I wouldn’t take a picture of a positive test as anything though, I know you can buy those on craigslist!

    Regardless, if she wants to get an abortion then that’s her business and you should let her, offer to pay for half, and offer to drive her to/from if she doesn’t have anyone else. If she is in fact pregnant and decides to stay that way then you need a paternity test.

    And if you are not able to deal with the consequences, don’t have unprotected sex. Which means condoms, not just taking her word for it that she’s on the pill. Or, better yet, don’t have sex at all.

    #742049 Reply

    If she was getting her hand x-rayed they could very easily have asked if she might be pregnant. I’ve been in for procedures and been asked that question and then they ran a pregnancy test just to be certain I wasn’t pregnant just because I was near the end of my cycle.

    Is she? She is the only one who knows. Hopefully you’ve learned a lesson here. Don’t have sex if you don’t want to be in a relationship, especially if they want a relationship and you don’t. Sex and a baby are a traditional way to trap a man. Always use a condom.

    For now you are going to have to deal with your anxiety. If she wants money for an abortion ask her to come over to your place and give her a pregnancy test to take to see if she is actually pregnant. I could see her lay a guilt trip on you and get you to give her half the cost of an abortion even if she isn’t pregnant just because she is angry that you don’t want her.

    I don’t think they do ultrasounds before about the sixth week of pregnancy.

    I had no pregnancy symptoms during the first weeks of either pregnancy except for the missed period and an elevated temperature. I don’t know what symptoms she is talking about but I’d be wary.

    #742052 Reply

    Ahhh. Hard to comprehend run on sentence nonsense. Still wouldn’t have given her an X-ray if she said she might be pregnant.

    #742053 Reply

    Lots of conflicting medical opinions here. It’s not uncommon to X-ray when a broken finger is suspected. On one hand, it could just be a sprain, and on the other, it could be a worse break that requires surgery. You can’t know that unless you X-ray.

    Yes, they will ask if someone may be pregnant to know if they need to take more precautions to avoid irradiating a potential baby. If someone is like “I dunno,” then there’s a good chance they will give them a test because there are many more reasons that not knowing you’re pregnant could be bad.

    And it’s my understand that she said the spotting was a symptom (which it is). I don’t think it’s that odd for someone who had unprotected sex to get abnormal spotting and wonder if she’s pregnant.

    That said, it’s possible that she isn’t. You’re going to need proof, and you need to confirm what exactly she’s doing. You don’t want a surprise baby showing up in nine months. In the future, use condoms too. Birth control pills are not 100% effective, and even less when it’s not taken perfectly. Getting someone pregnant is too big a risk to leave it to luck.

    ETA: Generally X-rays, especially those on the limbs, are safe for pregnant women. They would just give the person a lead vest to wear. But X-raying a finger isn’t going to hurt a baby.

    #742057 Reply

    LW, it sounds like she is pulling a typical female move so she can hang on to you. This is a good lesson for you to never EVER have unprotected sex EVER again because duh that’s how babies are made but here’s an ass kicker…. Plenty of women have gotten pregnant on birth control or using other forms of protection. So basically, (and this is just my opinion) don’t sleep with a chick if you are not ready to become a parent. Sex is great but sex kinda makes babies too which are big responsiblities. She clearly is very immature and abortions are a big deal, not an easy decision for a person to make. I suggest you talk to her like an adult about it because if she is pregnant and it is your child she is being very neglectful about the health of the baby if she is drinking while prego, you have a right to know if it is your child, you need to step up if it is your child or sign over your parental rights if you do not want the responsibility (that’s a sad move in my opinion, you lay with it you should be responsible for it). There is a test you can take prior to the baby being born to determine if it is your baby. If she tells you she isn’t or if she had an abortion….. Loose communication with her asap. She sounds crazy.

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