Is this a date?

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  • This topic has 7 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 1 year ago by Anonymousse.
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  • March 31, 2023 at 1:07 am #1119430

    I met this guy in my complex with another dog and we spend a lot of time talking with each other outside sometimes up to an hour.

    I’m new to having a dog so I don’t know much about dog owner etiquette but from what I’ve done so far taking that long to talk seems a bit unusual.

    I’ve been trying to figure him out, before I start flirting with him. He seems to always walk in front of my building when he doesn’t have too and lingers around like he’s trying to catch me.

    He appears really nervous around me because he can’t maintain eye contact for very long but when he does he has this gaze about him I can’t explain. The wind blows a lot where we are so my hair fly’s around and he seems to always get really nervous when it does. He comes off as this nerdy shy guy to me and I think it’s really cute. I’m also very shy though but I come off as a bit smug to other people.

    I’ve been playing really coy and pretending like I haven’t noticed. Just trying to act oblivious, along with trying not to give away I have a massive crush on him.

    Today was the first day I got to see all of his face because we met during early fall. So he was always wearing a hat and sunglasses. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw how handsome he was, it took me so off guard that I was the one who couldn’t look at him.

    So we both know already which building we live in but he told me exactly what apartment he was in and I wasn’t sure if that was an invitation or if he was just being friendly. I don’t want to assume but it seems a little suspicious.

    I kept making the joke about how our dogs are boyfriend and girlfriend and when i was talking baby talk to his dog about how much my dog loves his girlfriend.

    Right afterwards, he asked me if I was doing anything this weekend and I said no obviously seeing where this was going. He proceeded to ask me if I’d like to go to a dog park with him so our dogs can play together on a specific day. Even though our dogs are both unfixed and are opposite genders, its my responsibility if my dog ends up knocking his up.

    Though I’m curious, I couldn’t tell if he had asked me out on a date or not but the way he worded at first it totally sounded like it. Plus the timing of me talking about how our dogs are dating. It makes me really wonder if this is just more then a doggy play date.

    If this guy had a girlfriend, I don’t think he’d be asking other girls to go to the dog park with him. I really like this guy but I don’t want to jump to any conclusions.

    Is it normal to ask your neighbors to go to a dog park or is this a date?

    Avatar photo
    March 31, 2023 at 6:32 am #1119432

    This is very sweet.

    I wouldn’t call it a date, since neither one of you has expressed interest in the other person. Right now it’s just hanging out as friends, but it does sound like he likes you. If you two end up dating, I could see you joking about how this was your first date.

    At some point at the dog park you should say something like “I really like hanging out with you! Would you want to get a drink/coffee/grab dinner next weekend?” If he wants to do something with you without your dogs, that’s definitely a date.

    As someone in the veterinary field, I can’t help but add – please get your dog neutered.

    March 31, 2023 at 6:43 am #1119434

    Yes, please get your pup fixed. I’m surprised you’re casually taking responsibility if your dog knocks up another.

    It’s not a date, you’re just hanging out, which could lead to a date. People do just go to the dog park with other dog owner friends.

    March 31, 2023 at 8:02 am #1119435

    Agree with all this, except please don’t go to a dog park with unspayed/neutered dogs. It’s against the rules of dog parks in my area for good reason. These dogs get aggressive and are a danger to themselves and others! My dog is neutered but will get interested in female dogs who I guess are in heat. I can think of 2 who have been at the park near us, one a Great Dane who lives next door, and one a very young German shepherd who belongs to some macho guy who I don’t like how he’s training her. The girl dogs don’t like being sniffed like that and lash out. Dog parks are highly dangerous to begin with, and no dogs who aren’t spayed or neutered should be in that mix.

    But yeah, you like each other, it’s a hangout, it could lead to a date, why don’t you go on a hike or something.

    Avatar photo
    March 31, 2023 at 9:16 am #1119437

    So, this is nearly identical to how I met a guy I did go on a few dates with a handful of years ago. We were two neighbors with dogs who kept bumping into each other and saying hello, which turned to small talk, then googly eyes, then asking for my number. He asked me to walk our dogs together once before asking me out to dinner. I didn’t consider our dog walk a date in the same way I wouldn’t consider going to a dog park with the guy a date, but it’s a sign of interest in getting to know you more and might lead to a date. (Should you feel curious enough, it should all be documented in the very long dating thread on this site, but you’d have to scroll back like 300 pages or something, haha.)

    And yes, please get your dog neutered. It’s not against the rules where I live, but it might be where you live. Other owners will get annoyed at those who bring their unfixed dogs to the park notwithstanding because of the issues it can cause. You two can always go on a dog walk like I did with the guy I briefly dated.

    ETA: Also, I do think you’re reading too much into some details, like his reaction to your hair blowing or how he lingers. (I let my dog sniff things as long as he likes so I definitely *linger* on dog walks.) It’s okay to be a little flirty before you know how he feels and, if you enjoy his company after your hangout, to be direct about wanting to see him again.

    • This reply was modified 1 year ago by Avatar photoCopa.
    April 1, 2023 at 9:59 am #1119450

    If you want to go out with him- which is exactly what this sounds like and I’m 99% sure is the whole point of your letter:

    Woman up and ask him to a coffee! It’s not a marriage proposal. Stop being passive and waiting for Prince Charming to ask you. Make things happen for yourself instead of waiting for him to maybe like your hair blowing in the wind.

    April 1, 2023 at 10:25 am #1119453

    Please put this guy out of his misery and ask him out already!

    April 4, 2023 at 9:22 am #1119490

    I’m dying for a dog park update.

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Is this a date?

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