Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

is this healthy?

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  • #886903 Reply

    Would you like spending time with a/your boyfriend or girlfriend at their place every day within the exception of working, almost 24/7 with no let-up? Is that healthy?

    I ask because there’s this couple who isn’t married(not that it matters) that spend all day every day together. They only spend time together at his place. she goes to work most mornings and it’s right back over his place. if he leaves for work, she has a key and will wait for him at his place to come back home. They aren’t living together. Just together most of the time. even run errands together. Is that healthy, or not? Is she insecure or something? Sometimes she doesn’t come over in a day, and he has different women coming in and out of his place. He kicked his ex wife and kids out last summer because she caught him cheating..

    He and his ex-wife had a child beforehand, got married in 2016, and moved in a few doors down from me in an apartment building shortly after. In the summer of 2017 their second child was born. About 2 months after he was born, he kicked her and the children out and they went to live with her mother, while he stayed in the apartment. They had this public falling out before he kicked them out. The next day, the women start flocking in. A different one every day or other day. About six months ago, this lady that i speak of started being over there every single day 24/7 within the exception of work. .. for days, sometimes weeks at a time. Some times when she’s at work, I see him and different women coming out of the apartment. I speak and remain cordial to him always as well as whoever he’s with.. as he has always been polite towards me. I just think to myself that there’s another woman becoming dedicated to a man, losing herself and life in the process.

    is this is an example of a toxic relationship?

    is this an example of a toxic relationship?

    #886910 Reply

    Is it healthy? Eh…probably not. He sounds like a cad and an asshole. Who kicks their partner and baby out after they catch YOU cheating?

    And yeah – it’s a bit odd she doesn’t seem to have a life of her own. That said, I’ve been around my wife almost exclusively since COVID really took hold and for the most part totally fine with it.

    Is any of this your business though? Not really. Your relationship with these people isn’t clear, but it sounds like you’re just observing some odd behavior in your neighbors. That’s about the limit of what your involvement should be unless someone is in danger, which isn’t the case here.

    #886913 Reply

    Why do you care about this? Do you have a hobby you can do instead?

    #886947 Reply

    He sounds like an ass. Your preoccupation with him definitely sounds unhealthy. Try to forget about him and the poor women and children he jerks around. I hope your fascination with him doesn’t mean you have an attraction to him. If it does please explore in therapy why you’re attracted to scumbags

    #886950 Reply

    Huh. I was hoping this was a thinly veiled question about you and your relationship because it is VERY odd to be this preoccupied with a neighbor’s personal life. MYOB.

    #886958 Reply


    #886979 Reply

    Who is this? Unless this is you, then I’m not sure why this is your business.

    #886982 Reply

    Right, if this is truly about a random guy who’s your neighbor, it’s really weird to be writing into an advice site about his love life. And if his girlfriend needs advice she can ask for it – she doesn’t need you asking strangers for advice on her behalf. If you’re actually the ex wife, then just be honest about that.

    #886995 Reply

    No, it is not healthy for YOU to be obsessed with your neighbor to the point where you’re tracking who he spends time with, who goes in and out of his apartment.

    I’d feel sorry for the women you see, but she either knows and doesn’t care, will find out and will care or some other assortment of personal choice.

    Occupy yourself with something else.

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