Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

It frustrates me that almost everyone but me can probably get into a ?

Home Forums General Chat It frustrates me that almost everyone but me can probably get into a ?

This topic contains 32 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Mooncake 1 day, 12 hours ago.

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  • #853802 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    relationship but I probably can’t.

    Because I’m even more unattractive then most other girls.

    Please tell me the truth and no lies.

    #853832 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    That must suck, I’m sorry you’re not attractive.

    #853846 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    What do I do about it?

    #853847 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Link to your social media so we can see pics and give advice on how to be more attractive?

    Save up for surgery?

    Or clue into the fact that less attractive people get married all the time, so maybe it’s not your looks that are holding you back. Maybe see a therapist to get to the bottom of it.

    #853851 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    I should accept how I look and not get sugey.

    #853856 Reply
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    Hazel

    next time you are in a large, ordinary supermarket, look around at all the people you see going about in couples – the vast majority are ordinary, and a fair proportion have faces and figures so unusual that they could be seen as very unattractive to someone who does not know and appreciate them, and yet all these found companionship. Amongst my friends are some who find themselves single despite rather good looks. There are many things which can get in the way of finding a partner but provided you make an effort to be clean etc looks are rarely the insurmountable barrier you may feel them to be. Just get out there and take part in activities you enjoy with like minded people, and be open minded to those you meet.

    #853859 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    You actually don’t have to just accept how you look. There are lots of things you can do to change things you’re not happy with and make the most of what you’ve got.

    #853863 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    Surgery causes pain and death and you might not look the way you want to.

    #853869 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    I’m not talking about surgery. There are many non-surgery options to improve things about your appearance you don’t like.

    #853871 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I’d say your attitude and low self-esteem surrounding your looks are bigger problems than your actual looks. If you’re older than, IDK, college-aged and still believe dating and relationships are only for beautiful people, something’s pretty wrong. If you think and act like you have little to offer in a relationship, you’re not going to attract many people, and the people you attract won’t be quality people. There are always things you can do to improve your outward appearance, but it sounds like you have a lot of work to do with what’s going on inside.

    #853886 Reply
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    Miss MJ

    JEEZ LOUISE, the self-defeating self-pity in these letters lately.

    LW, your physical attributes (or lack thereof, as the case may be) are not why you’re not finding a relationship. Sure, some people may not find you attractive. Some people don’t find [INSERT BEAUTIFUL FAMOUS PERSON HERE] attractive. Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. Also, physical attractiveness is just the first step; it does not a (good) relationship make.

    Do what you can to make the most of your physical features. I’ve watched enough makeover shows to know that everyone has some physical feature that is attractive and that they can play up. But more importantly than that, fix your attitude. You come across as a total Eeyore who doesn’t even make an effort because you figure you’re just going to fail. Be proactive in meeting people with whom you have something in common. Take a class in something you find interesting. Join a group. Volunteer. Pursue your interests around people who share those interests. You might just find that your passion for you interests is what makes someone interested in you. But “oh, bother, why even try because I’ll probably fail” does not.

    #853892 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Your issue is self esteem, not your looks. Or you have unrealistic goals and you need to lower your expectations. Yes, of course it’s possible that someone unbelievably beautiful dates someone who is less beautiful/handsome. But if you’re only looking at the most beautiful people and ignoring all of the plainer, less attractive people around you – then aren’t you part of the problem?

    Dating is a numbers game. If you talk to 1 person and you get no response, you failure rate is 100%. If you talk to you 100 people and 10 respond positively, sure you’re only at 10% success rate but you might have made 10 new friends. If your goal is only to get a date, then you have to ask as many people as it takes to get a date.

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