Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

It frustrates me that almost everyone but me can probably get into a ?

Home Forums General Chat It frustrates me that almost everyone but me can probably get into a ?

This topic contains 32 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar Mooncake 1 day, 12 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 33 total)
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  • #853923 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    It is ungodly to change how God made you.

    #853924 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Oh is that right? It’s ungodly to color my hair? To shop for clothes that flatter my figure? To get my eyebrows and nails done and use suitable hair and skin products? Wear makeup, get a great haircut and a blowout? Because I sure wouldn’t look very attractive without all that stuff.

    #853925 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    I mean, be a nun then.

    #853927 Reply
    Kate B.
    Kate B.

    I don’t know what you’re looking for. You asked for the truth, but you don’t seem to want to accept it. Physical attractiveness is completely subjective. What one person finds attractive, another may not. People have given you good advice and you have systematically shot it down. If you are unhappy with how you look, you have two choices: fix it or learn to work with what you have. You say it is ungodly to change how God made you; you say surgery causes pain and death; you say you should accept how you look, but you clearly can’t. What’s your answer then? Honestly, I don’t think you want any advice. You just want a bunch of strangers to feed your “poor little me” narrative. Maybe because then at least someone would be paying attention to you? Is that it? I played that game myself when I was younger and it got me nowhere. But you know what did? Fixing my attitude. Everyone has something about them that is lovable. Unless you are a baby-eating serial killer, so do you. If I were you, I would start by seeing a therapist and work on that self esteem of yours. Then, I would closely examine whatever ideology forbids you from doing something, even some little thing, to make yourself feel good about yourself. Even my fundamentalist Baptist SIL gets mani-pedis and wears clothes that make her feel good. The problem is you.

    #853929 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Well god made ya naked and hairy. I hope you don’t shave anything on your body.

    I’m sure that nonsense applies to Glasses,contact lenses, braces, and corrective surgery like treatment for scoliosis or hammer toes too. If some deity gives you cancer, are you allowed to treat it or is it better to die with your body intact than cut up the offending limb, bone, breast or organ?

    Holier than thou is an ugly attitude, uglier than body hair.

    #853930 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    I’m going to go out on that limb again and say it’s probably not your looks that are keeping you from a happy relationship, but your attitude and manner.

    #853931 Reply
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    ron

    You have the physical attributes you were born with — it’s genetic, but those basic looks can play up or play down based upon your personality. Personality and just how up you’re feeling at a given time make a huge difference in whether or not people regard you as attractive.

    You sound semi-fanatical religious, in a very severe sense. That can be a rather extreme downer. If you believe that morose is how God made you…

    #853941 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    I’m not doing it just to get friends I’m doing it to get a date,

    #853945 Reply
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    Allornone

    Doing what, exactly? It seems like you’re not doing anything to get a date, just whining about how you don’t have dates. You shot down the few suggestions you’ve been given and copped a holier-than-thou attitude with people who are legitimately trying to help. That’s real ugliness.

    Listen, I was there. I went for a long time without anyone taking any kind of romantic interest in me. I actually thought I’d be alone forever. Do you know what I did? I stopped caring. I focused on improving myself and just being okay with me. I stopped defining myself as someone not in a relationship, and instead just lived for my own sake. When I shed my previous desperation, that’s when things started clicking. I don’t know if you’ll ever find someone or not, but if you realize that being alone is actually okay, then maybe the bitterness you seem so intent on clinging on to will diminish. I guarantee you, that bitterness, not your looks, is really what is keeping you from getting any dates.

    #853952 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    Well, if God made you a self-pitying sad sack and changing would be wrong, then your life will continue to be as it has been and writing to a forum seeking opinions was a waste of time. Change isn’t possible for those who don’t want it or won’t put in effort.

    #854007 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    I’m not doing this to only make friends I’m doing this to make more then friends.

    #854019 Reply
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    Imglam
    Member

    I don’t want to be a nun.

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