It’s just a cake?

[Phoebe]

@Wendy,
Dealing with stuff like this is one of the least fun parts of moderating these boards. It can take a lot out of you.

Thank you.

[anonymousse]

Absolutely, Kate. Thanks, Wendy.

[FYI]

I just saw this. I didn’t realize this site was supposed to be for women. I always enjoy Mark’s post, and there aren’t that many active commenters. I’m out.

[Kate]

Bye.

[Dear Wendy]

“there aren’t that many active commenters” … all the more reason not to continually attack the ones who actively participate, and for me to make those who do, feel safe here to share.

[Lucidity]

I, for one, have not enjoyed much of Mark’s posts, and when Wendy asked him to take a break, I was looking forward to a respite from the negativity, mockery, and sometimes downright cruelty directed at hurting, vulnerable people. Glad to see boundaries being enforced. This is one of the kinder places in the internet and I’d like it to stay that way.

[Kate]

There’s no shortage of places to go on the internet if you like yelling at women, blaming them for their problems with men, and telling them to learn how to crochet. I hope you all find your community.

[Dear Wendy]

Thanks, Lucidity.

I also want to make sure that everyone of all genders know they’re welcome here. We have some wonderful men who are active participants here and I’m sorry if I made any of them feel unwelcome. Their contributions are appreciated! But this *is* a site by a woman and for women, with an open door for anyone else who can respect boundaries, communicate respectively, and, in general, add to the supportive nature of this site. That doesn’t mean we always agree or even “get along” all the time, but it does mean that going forward, personal attacks, and language that borders on abusive or painful or mocking will result in even stricter repercussions. There’s too much going on in the world right now for this space to be one that adds to anyone’s turmoil.

Thanks, all, for understanding!

[bloodymediocrity]

I did genuinely like Mark, but his negativity has really increased in the last few months here (and he was already pretty negative to begin with). You made the right choice, Wendy.

[Dear Wendy]

I like mark too. We’ve met in person a couple times and I do genuinely care about him, despite the boundaries I’m setting.

[Kate]

Yeah, it’s not about a person, it’s about their behavior.

[anonymousse]

Happy New Year!

Thanks Wendy, Kate and Lucidity.

I never and Wendy certainly never said this was a site ONLY for women. I made the point that most people seeking advice on this site are women, as are most giving it. That’s true. A lot of us were introduced to Wendy through a site that was marketed towards women. Is that offensive in some way? That women have some places on the web that are not that scary and not that abusive to hang out?

[Author]

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