- This topic has 5 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by LisforLeslie.
October 22, 2020 at 7:31 am #963545SnailcatGuest
Okay so, i am a girl still in school, specifically middle school (i’m not sure if i allowed on here but i’m desperate.) Not a while ago i noticed a girl who i think is really pretty, she’s a year older and it was around the beggining of the school year. After a while i realized that i might have feelings for her, of course not very big since i didn’t really know her but i’m farely sure i’ve got a small crush.
This was my first time ever getting a crush on a person of the same gender and i was confused, kinda scared and i needed to find out what to do. The first thing i thought of was well talk to her, get to know her and maybe become her friend. Only issue is i am a very awkward, anxious and stressed person so for multiple weeks i could not muster up the courage to just say hi.
This led to me acting very strangely and awkwardly around her, in this time i also ended up telling my best friend, two other friends and a few other people. My bestfriend was chill with it, one of the friends was fine with it and the other friend i have no idea but i’m pretty sure they were weirded out. With my bestfriend, there were 4 other boys who overheard, they seemed chill and supportive at first but the next day i discovered one of them told someone in my class. I got really stressed out and tried to tell him to kindly shut up but i’m pretty sure he ignored it. More time after i discovered more people in my class had been told about it from overhearing them gossiping about it literally next to me.
Around this time i also found out the girl i liked may not be as nice of a person as i thought (though i’m not sure) and that she hangs around with the same kind of guys like the assholes who told people. That only made me panic more, what if someone tells one of her guy friends who tells her? What if she overhears? Etc…
And once again, because of my awkwardness and low amount of braincells my crush definetely noticed me acting weird around her and i highly doubt i’ve made a good first impression. Also my bestfriend being a fellow person of low braincells just added on to that.
In around twelve days school starts up again and i need to know what to do.
First of all, any advice on how to talk to her? Second of all, how do i fix the situation with people knowing? I’m really not comfortable with everyone knowing i’m not completely straight. Any other advice would be appreciated.October 22, 2020 at 9:06 am #963552anonymousseParticipant
I think you should just try and behave as if you’re over it, or have no idea what they are talking about. Act disinterested if anyone brings it up or teases you about it.
There are many lessons to be learned here, mainly…if you want to keep a secret a secret, tell no one. Maybe your best friend.
The other thing is, at your age and even much older- crushes happen. And most of them are fleeting, or easily disintegrate once you really get to know someone. I’d suggest trying to operate with more of a poker face and just treat everyone the same. Enjoy the crushes but having one doesn’t mean you have to tell people or act on it.October 22, 2020 at 9:18 am #963553SnailcatGuest
Thank you!October 22, 2020 at 9:18 am #963554KateKeymaster
Yeah, the only thing to do is act like you don’t care. Do NOT act flustered or upset if anyone brings it up. Practice looking cool as a cucumber. This is a life skill that you’ll rely on forever.
In my experience, no one, not even a best friend, is able to keep a secret about a crush. If you don’t want people to know, you have to not tell anyone. And if you can’t help sharing it with a best friend, definitely don’t say it where a bunch of people are going to overhear. Also, don’t state it plainly in writing either. If you’re going to text about it, use code.
If the object of your crush finds out, oh well. At least now they know. They’ll either be flattered or like, “eh.” Actually the guy in HS I had a ridiculous awkward crush on eventually asked me on a date, though I don’t know if I ever even spoke to him. Of course, this was 30 years ago and not a same-sex scenario, but it happened.October 22, 2020 at 9:21 am #963555KateKeymaster
PS, don’t let them goad you into going so far in the other direction as to loudly proclaim that you DON’T have a crush. Don’t get defensive, just appear to be undisturbed.October 22, 2020 at 9:27 am #963556LisforLeslieGuest
Oof, I do not miss middle school. I think the best way is to acknowledge but down play it and a bit of “taking the 5th”. In short, “yeah, I said I thought she was cool – but you know how guys are, they blow everything out of proportion. I just thought you looked like you had your shit together and wished I had my shit together like that.” and then if anyone is like “but you said you thought you like-liked her” you can just be like “I don’t recall that – did I say that? I don’t remember saying that.” and hope it’s not recorded and they don’t have dozens of texts where you’re like “OMG, I want to run my fingers through her haaaaaaiiiirrrrr”.
P.S. Best advice is never write down or be recorded saying anything that you wouldn’t want your grandma or grandpa to read.