Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

I’ve gotten in trouble with a boy & I’m scared to lose my mom and I relationship

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice I’ve gotten in trouble with a boy & I’m scared to lose my mom and I relationship

This topic contains 34 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by avatar León 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 11 posts - 25 through 35 (of 35 total)
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  • #750922 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    Yeah putting this on the mom is ridiculous. Her father is the one dumping his marriage problems on a 15 year old. Seriously, this kid is not neglected. She snuck a boy into her room, got busted, and is going to be in trouble…sounds like pretty normal teenage stuff to me. At least she knows that there will be consequences.

    FWIW women pilinh on other women for not being 100% available to their children while fathers gets free pass is total bullshit.

    #750923 Reply
    avatar
    JD

    Uh ya I do have a 15 year old actually, and I do plenty of raising him. He was upset when we had to go out of town for a family thing but ya know, that is how life goes sometimes. A 15 year old is beyond capable of understanding that. And to tell someone they don’t do all of the parenting because they are a step parent. Neither does her mom because she has a step dad, real dad and step mom. So actually that time is even more split up, even if she doesn’t like them. You have ZERO idea the amount of parenting I do and frankly, from all step parents you can suck a big one. That is one of the most ridiculous comments a person could make. Unless LW has some developmental issue where a parent leaving is throwing her over the edge, she can handle it. Also as stated above, she said her mom and her are very close. She seems simply to want to make mistakes and not deal with her mother being angry. That isn’t how life works. This is why so many kids can’t handle anything these days, they are so coddled that the slightest upheaval in their routine throws them into a tailspin. This is how kids end up breaking laws and in jail, because mommy didn’t get mad when they burned the house down so they just kept doing it. And let me elaborate more by saying that every parent deserves a vacation at some point. Wendy and her husband did a weekend without the kids recently she mentioned. OMG she must be a shitty parent huh? No, people need a break to recharge. Parenting is difficult, especially when your kid can’t keep her shirt on. And from LW she got in trouble once, it was over. So mom never leaves town again because daughter can’t learn her lesson and keep it in her pants? Then LW will write about how mom never leaves her at home alone for 5 mins (LW a few days ago who is 20 and his dad does this) and then you’ll be saying “oh you just have to deal with it”. So which is it?

    #750924 Reply

    FWIW women pilinh on other women for not being 100% available to their children while fathers gets free pass is total bullshit.

    No one’s giving the dad a free pass.
    She lives with the mom so, of course, mom will shoulder more of the responsibility of parenting.

    And we shall agree to disagree on the mom issue.

    #750926 Reply
    avatar
    Northern Star

    You know what isn’t helpful for a teenager? To be told that her mom is shitty based on completely flimsy evidence — and to intimate that’s why she’s justified in sneaking a boy into her room and getting naked with him. Because that’s exactly what you’re doing.

    And are you KIDDING ME with “Grandma should have been paying closer attention. Why weren’t they baking cookies and putting puzzles together all night long?” This girl is 15. Not 5. She probably told Grandma she was doing homework in her room. And then Grandma checked. Whoops.

    The overdramatics here are astounding. This girl got caught doing something plainly wrong that she KNEW was against the rules—and she doesn’t want to experience consequences.

    Too bad, so sad.

    #750931 Reply
    juliecatharine
    Juliecatharine

    What NorthernStar said.

    Also, not that this wasn’t a shitty decision on the LW’s part (it was!) but come on…do none of you remember being 15? This could have easily happened when mom was home.

    #750936 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    Yeah, I don’t really see the big deal here on either front. As a 15-year-old with two parents at home, I did stuff like this and was caught at times, and I also was able to stay home alone for up to a week at a time. A single mom who has to go to a training for a new job right before a vacation isn’t automatically a shitty parent, and a teenager who makes out with boys and breaks rules isn’t a shitty kid. They’re going to have to work it out together, which it sounds like they have a good enough relationship to do.

    #750942 Reply
    avatar
    anonymousse
    Member

    Telling a fifteen year old girl who is writing in for advice that her mom is a shitty parent for doing normal things that an adult with a child, family to support AND a new job has to do is fucked up. She didn’t write in for a biased diagnosis of her family, she asked for advice what for do to make it up to her mom.

    Even telling her that her dad is wrong and shitty isn’t great to put in a child’s mind. JFC. This is what a fifteen year old wrote in with. Surely there are details and nuance we are missing out on.

    AND yeah, I totally agree this is normal teenage stuff.
    Kids make mistakes. And so do adults.

    Focus on the actual question and age of the the LW.

    #750950 Reply
    avatar
    Autumnrose
    Member

    So, LW sounds like you just need to own up to your irresponible behavior.What you did is something a lot of teens do. It doesnt make it right but your not alone in it. When my parents went out of town for business or vacation, I did stupid stuff too (like tried to throw a high school party….several times and getting busted by neighbors, and we laugh about it years later) and reaped the repercussions of my bad decision. did my parents trust me?! NO, but eventually with time that trust healed and I matured and grew up. My parents were divorced and my dad lived in another state. I had stepparents too. When I was a teen I did not have a great relationship with my mom because I thought she was annoying and controlling but when I grew up I realized she was being a PARENT who loved me. You are 15, you should know how to scramble an egg, get up for school, dress yourself, not eat laundry detergent pods or snort condoms. (Sorry not sorry. That was too easy to not throw it in with this post lol)AND know better than to sneak a boy in your room with YOUR shirt OFF. And no your parents are not shitty parents.

    #750951 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    “When my parents went out of town for business or vacation, I did stupid stuff too (like tried to throw a high school party….several,times and getting busted by neighbors) and reaped the repercussions of my bad decision. did my parents trust me?! NO, but eventually with time that trust healed and I matured and grew up.”

    Same.

    #751199 Reply
    avatar
    Candice conner

    I think you should write your mom a letter about what happened with the boy and about what your dad has been doing unloading his problems unto you.Tell her your feelings in the letter.When she gets home give her the letter. Another thing…boys will say or do anything to get in your pants.He already got you to take your shirt off.Watch yourself do not let him take advantage of you.By your age all my daughters were already on birth control.It might be a good idea to look into.Having birth control does not mean you must have sex.I had a friend who was on it for years before she had sex.And please educate yourself about STDs.

    #751757 Reply
    avatar
    León

    LW, you just screwed it up, but these are just typical things everyone lives being a youngster. Suck up the consecuences, grow from it and let it go. Your mom would love you regardless of this, its not as if she didnt do stupid shit in her teenage years. And I highly doubt this is something too severe to be afraid of the consequences.

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