Make a compromise? If he wants to invite 5 or more teammates, he has to invite the entire team. If not, only four or less from the team. Explain how being on a team is not excluding just two, and give him a little compassion/team player lesson.

Parenting is a minefield.

As the only kid who wasn’t invited to some birthday parties as I didn’t fit in and had no friends, I can feel myself getting tearful remembering what it was like. I’m now 41 so this is over 30 years ago but it still pops into my head when Im feeling bad about things, and was actually more painful than getting actively bullied.

As Wendy has said it’s incredibly hard for parents to see their children excluded. I haven’t tried to have kids as I didn’t want them to be like me.

Anonymousse’s suggestion is the best I think. Make a big fuss of him after the party with a special present or activity too.

I’m sorry too, Tui, and also hope you found your people.

Update: he agreed to invite the entire team. He really argued about inviting the new kid, but when we got to his game on Saturday he immediately ran over and gave him an invitation.

Thank you again to everyone who chimed in. I love that this community is still so great! I’ve been pretty MIA for the last 7 years, but this has always been one of the best places on the internet, and that doesn’t seem to have changed.