- July 31, 2020 at 4:08 am #915325TrappedGuest
Three words that I don’t like hearing. Why is it so difficult for me to leave the person alone once they say that? Do I have a problem? Or is this a normal response? It’s like I want to do everything in my power to stay WITH that person. It turns into a big mess and a huge regret. Yet I do it over and over and over like an idiot. Thoughts? Suggestions?July 31, 2020 at 9:27 am #915911golfer.galGuest
Get into therapy, immediately. Stop dating or seeking out new connections immediately until you’ve worked on this. Yes, this is absolutely a huge problem. No, having a situation escalate to a point where someone is plainly telling you to leave them alone and you ignore them to try to force contact isn’t a “normal response”. I’m not sure how far this is escalating – if you’re crossing into criminal or stalking territory, but regardless ignoring people’s clearly stated preference to cut contact is not ok, or normal, at all. There are also other issues at play if you’re finding people want to flee from you over and over. So this isn’t just a boundary thing, you need to work on whatever issues are preventing you from having healthy relationships in the first place. Because this has escalated so far already you need to bring professionals in to help you. Schedule a counseling appointment and an appointment with your regular doctor, stat.July 31, 2020 at 12:59 pm #916290anonymousseParticipant
Yeah, agreed this is not a good thing. You need to work on controlling your impulses and listen to people who ask you to leave them alone, or for space, etc.
That’s your problem to sort out. Therapy would be a good way to do that.July 31, 2020 at 2:44 pm #916466HazelParticipant
Aye. To be left alone is a basic human right in most scenarios where someone is not putting themselves in physical harm. You need to get help to let you manage to grant people this.There are seemingly reasons that you can’t do this right now, but they can be resolved with the right help and you’ll be so much happier for that.Seek any help available to you right now, if you are unable to access therapy, helplines are available in many places and they will absolutely help you as you are identifying a possible problem early on which is when it is most possible to solve. Good luck. If you are in UK Samaritans are brilliant at this sort of thing, if not, have a look at what is available and never feel bad for asking for help.