Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Left after giving birth ..

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 9 voices, and was last updated by avatar allathian 3 months ago.

Viewing 5 posts - 13 through 17 (of 17 total)
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  • #845082 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    Child support isn’t for you personally. It’s for your kids and you should not be giving up any of their rights or anything owed to them to anyone. I’m sorry he cheated and lied and was a horrible person. That doesn’t mean he gets to skate on his responsibilities though. Go see a lawyer. Get a court order for support. If he violates it you will likely have legal recourse, depending on your jurisdiction. His wages can get garnished, writs can be issued against him, his driver’s license suspended, even jail time. He isn’t going to do the right thing because he is a good guy. You already know he isn’t. So you need to put things into place to force him to do the right thing by your girls. Lawyer. Now.

    #845145 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    You need to get legal agreements. If he decides to stop paying and you haven’t filed for child support, then you’re just kind of out of luck. Not filing anything would be irresponsible parenting, TBH.

    #845223 Reply

    For him to abandoned you and your babies like that is just wrong. Get some child support, custody agreement and a lawyer it’ll help you.

    #845231 Reply
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    FYI

    “I’m wondering what is right from wrong.”

    That’s typically what happens when you’re dealing with a liar. You start to question your own reality, because how could this so-called “good person” act like such an ass?

    But you DO know right from wrong. You KNOW it’s wrong for him to abandon his children. You KNOW it’s wrong for him to call you names. You KNOW it’s wrong for him to cheat (which it sounds like he’s done). So stop pretending like you don’t know. The right thing to do is to hold him accountable; even the law says that. It is HIS responsibility to support those children — HIS children.

    Don’t ASK him to do this. Have the courts or a lawyer TELL him that he will be doing this. He’s already broken too many promises to you.

    #845236 Reply
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    allathian

    He doesn’t deserve any consideration from you. Just get the child support formalized by the courts. He needs to be shown that actions have consequences and that he’ll be paying child support for the next 18 years.

    Your one consolation may be that your children are so young that if he shows absolutely no interest in them and won’t do the visitations he’ll probably be entitled to, they won’t have any personal memories of him.

    Now you need to put your children first for a while and try and heal from this deep betrayal. But life being what it is, I hope that sometime in the future, when you’re ready, you’ll meet someone else who can be a decent father figure for your daughters. Just do a better job picking him than you did in picking the sperm donor for your kids.

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