Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Lonely

This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar anonymousse 1 week, 2 days ago.

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  • #830675 Reply
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    Scarlett

    I have these two guys friends, one I’ve known for about nine years now, and the other I met a couple of years ago after we we’re introduced through my first guy friend.

    The start of our friendships were great, the first guy defended my from a bully once and said I was a good friend and the other I’ve defended before when he being teased by my older brother who is also friends with both.

    But as soon as the second friend left for Florida things changed quickly, they began calling my brother over me and if they did call it was because my brother was unavailable, they stopped telling me when they were online and when we were around my first friend in real life my brother would bully me infront of them and they no longer defended me, I’ve ended up crying alone because of this on several occasions.

    Once my friend even sighed heavily when I joined a call and said “did I sound disappointed? I was trying to”

    And to top it off, they all three planned a vacation to Florida without telling me, and when I said I wanted to go, my brother made it clear I wasn’t wanted on this trip and that I would just be the annoying little sister they had to bring along. So I dropped out, why should I go to another state just to feel unwanted as I feel now?

    I feel crappy because I’ve known them for years and it’s not like I can just walk into somewhere and make new friends, I’m shy and don’t go to school so I’m just stuck here, sad and alone.

    #830679 Reply
    avatar
    JD

    You didn’t drop out of the trip, you weren’t invited. Your brother wants his own friends separate of you, that’s normal.

    Sounds like you need to find something to do to fill your time. Go to college, get a job, join a club.

    #830681 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    Why are you stuck? Make friends at work. Or at a hobby. Or at a meet up. Or on a team. Friendships won’t fall into your lap. You have to go cultivate them. Go outside. Be nice to strangers that seem nice.

    Those guys may have been your friends once (though defending someone once does not a friendship make) but they sound like your brother’s friends now. Frankly they sound mean. Find new friends and keep them separate from your brother.

    #832362 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Scarlett/Kenn…what are you doing to be more social and make your own friends?

    Why aren’t you in school or have a job or volunteer somewhere?

    You have to make an effort to have friends. Even when you have friends, you need to continue to make effort to keep them.

    Inviting yourself along, or inserting yourself where you aren’t wanted is only going to lead to hurt feelings for you.

    A lot of people are shy. A lot of people still get themselves out there and work for what they want. You are the only person who can change your situation. Friends aren’t going to drop in your lap, as FireStar wrote or magically change from a bully to a nice person.

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