Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy


This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by avatar Val 3 months ago.

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  • #729391 Reply

    I know im young and relationships for people who are my age aren’t serious but I’m in a really bad situation and i don’t know what to do. im going to start at the beginning. I started dating my boyfriend two years ago, shortly after i was sexually abused by my stepdad (he’s gone now) and i was in a very vulnerable state. everything was great with my boyfriend (lets call him connor) until a year ago.He started getting jealous and possessive, even hitting me sometimes for talking to guys. a few months ago i broke up with him because i was getting suicidal and i knew it was because of him, i felt weak and hopeless. I broke up with him and it was pure hell, he spread rumours about me, he told me if i left he’d kill himself,i still left.for a few months i was free,i was still in a dark place though. i felt worthless and there was a guy who was really comforting and we ended up having a ‘thing’,lets call him jake,after being treated that way for so long i was relieved to have someone be like a party i met connor again and long story short im back with him, jake is still all for me & i feel disgusting.jake is a really sweet guy and he doesn’t deserve this, i don’t know how to deal with connor, i have no idea what to do,im exactly what i feared this whole time,a missing out a lot but its too long to post on this. Im a mess, all my thoughts are contradicting each other and i need someone to tell me what to do from the outside. sorry this is so long, please help. I don’t like jake anymore, I don’t love connor anymore. I just want to get out of this situation, its eating at me. I feel as though I don’t deserve love or happiness or anything good. I just hate myslf for making these mistakes.

    #729394 Reply

    You need to go to therapy. Your emotional well being has taken a hit & it needs to get rebuilt and strengthened.

    #729406 Reply

    Hi Maddy,

    Coming from someone who was sexually abused for many years, and lost the peaceful state of mind, courage, and so much more I know what it can make you feel like. I am glad you realize Connor isn’t for you and you want to move forward without him. Jake probably genuinely cares about you. I agree with you wanting to just stay clear of boys…since you know what you want now you just need to take action. If you cant tell them face to face then write them a letter. Tell Connor you no longer see a future with him, that you have reached a point in your life to continue without him. You have to be clear with these types of people, and state you no longer will communicate or want to see him. It is then your responsibility to delete his number and anything associated with him. His actions and history only detriment your mental health. It is easier said than done but no one can do it but you and believe me you can do it. Tell jake your not ina good time in your life to pursue a relationship, you’ve appreciated his time and kindness but if he would like to wait he can wait. but at the moment you have to be focusing on restrengthening your mind and body for your own sake and to leade a positive lifestyle. Go to the gym, hang out with positive girlfriends and seek help. You can do it.

    Best of luck!

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