Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy


Home Forums General Chat Marriage

This topic contains 6 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by avatar LisforLeslie 5 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #717845 Reply

    I have had an extremely bad marriage for the past 9 years and I met someone else and I am debating on leaving. Problem is I have 2 kids that are my heart and soul and I can’t imagine not seeing them every day. On the other end, I don’t see myself getting my feelings back for my husband. Advice?

    #717853 Reply

    As someone whose parents “stayed together for the kids,” I’d leave a bad marriage in a second. Kids aren’t a good enough reason to stay, IMHO, and I wish mine had split long ago.

    #717856 Reply

    Leaving because you met someone is not the answer. That won’t last most likely. Leave because you should leave. Also, going from a 9 year marriage to this person will not solve it. It likely won’t last. You need to leave, take time, make a new life, then date.

    #717914 Reply

    Leave if you want to leave, not for someone else. Talk to a therapist and figure out what you want and how to achieve it.

    #718073 Reply

    There’s a lot of options between abandoning your children or staying in a bad marriage.

    #722264 Reply

    Seriously, would you leave your 2 kids for someone you just met. How old are they? In my opinion, regardless of the state of your marriage, you have a duty to raise your kids. Maybe a separation from your husband would work for now. Don’t just go and hook up with someone else. Also, I think you both need counselling – or a mediator to talk about what happens as far as the kids are concerned.

    #722307 Reply

    I interpreted this as there would likely be shared custody, not abandonment. I could totally be wrong here.

    Jumping from one relationship to the next doesn’t sound like you’re actually thinking about what’s best for your kids – sounds like you’re thinking only of yourself. How long have you been unhappy? Why do you need to jump to a new relationship? It’s not healthy for your kids to live with parents who don’t get along and can’t model a healthy relationship. It’s also not healthy to jump into a new relationship right away nor introduce your kids to someone until it’s clear this is a long term relationship.

    As for not seeing your kids every day – again, this sounds like YOUR NEEDS taking precedence over your kids needs.

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