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mixed signals?!

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This topic contains 11 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by avatar saneinca 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #846112 Reply
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    Madison Wong

    I broke up with my ex because I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship, but now I’m ready and I want to get back together. But, he’s sending me mixed signals. For example, we call for hours, he always holds my stuff for me, he touches my arm a lot, and mirrors my actions but whenever I text him about hanging out, he leaves me on read. He also said that he likes someone else, but I don’t know if he’s just trying to make me jealous because the girl he likes lives really far away and when I asked about her he said “why are you jealous? why do you want to know so bad?” Do you think he likes me?

    #846121 Reply

    Just ask him if he wants to go out again. You’re thinking about this too much.

    Odds are, you guys have a flirty repore, but he thinks you’re not interested because you broke up with him. So now it’s on you to make the next move. He won’t do it because he’s respecting the boundaries you put in place.

    #846126 Reply
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    MaltaKano

    This is on you! You dumped him – so you need to make the next move and express interest in getting back together. And if he does, he’ll deserve a clear explanation of what has changed for you since the breakup and why you are excited to make it work this time.

    #846133 Reply

    Use your words and tell him how you feel. Be honest with him.

    #846137 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    Relationships don’t work unless you communicate. Middle school kids say “Do you think he likes me?” Adults talk to each other.

    If you’re not able to do that, then you’re not ready to be dating.

    #846140 Reply

    It’s totally understandable that he’s unsure and not making a move on you. You broke up with him. It’s your trust to put yourself out there and be vulnerable for a minute.

    #846168 Reply
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    dinoceros
    Member

    Trying to read his “signals” is not very useful because in the end you’re going to need to just tell him how you feel and ask how he feels. Maybe he’s still into you. Maybe he is, but does not want to date again. Maybe he’s not. Any of those things could be possible.

    #846175 Reply
    FireStar
    FireStar
    Participant

    He said he likes someone else. What would you mean if you said that? I think the conversation where he said that was you testing the waters. You can be more upfront but I suspect you
    already have your answer. I’d move on.

    #846260 Reply
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    LisforLeslie

    Assume that the words coming out of his mouth have a singular meaning.
    Him: I like someone else
    Actual meaning: He likes someone else.
    Your incorrect interpretation: I want you to be jealous

    And not for nothing but if a person says something with the express purpose of making someone jealous or confused, then that person is playing games. You don’t need that. It’s exhausting.

    #846264 Reply
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    ele4phant

    No, I don’t think he likes you. I think you still like him, and you want him to still like you, so it’s creating painful feelings for you.

    But, he doesn’t want to get back together with you. He has told you in plain, simple language, that he likes someone else, and has told you you shouldn’t feel jealous (because he’s not going to get back with you).

    #846266 Reply
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    ele4phant

    Although, what do you have to lose by being very clear “I think I made a mistake in breaking up with you. I’d like to get back together”?

    Likely he’ll be like, “Oohhh I’ve moved on”, but then you’ll know for sure and you can move on. Assuming that he’s not interested in getting back together and that makes it hard to be around him, I might suggest you give yourself some distance and stop hanging out with him all the time.

    #846269 Reply
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    saneinca

    LOL @LisforLeslie, your summary is spot on.

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