Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

More than friends

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This topic contains 8 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by avatar anonymousse 3 months ago.

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  • #815879 Reply
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    Pam

    I have a guy best friend and we’ve been having this friendship for about 5 years now and in the early stages of our friendship we dated while in high school for a brief moment and not to many people know about us dating it was only some of our close friends but we moved on to other relationships and it always sat in the back of my mind on what “if” our friendship might turn into something else. He’s off to college but returns every weekend to our home city and when I see him he always acts a bit flirtatious and he casually throws in jokes through text about such as “ remember when I used to pick you up” which is referring to our past dates or he invited me to watch him play his football games he picks me up and all that good stuff but then texts me later “thanks for watching me play dude it means a lot” and I honestly just shake it off and take it lightly because I don’t want to get my hopes up because I know he’s a very flirtatious guy but I feel like our friendship is very valuable to both of us he always mentions how much he loves me and we get along very well at times it’s a bit weird for mutual friends to see our friendship because were pretty close and they’ve asked us if we’re cousins or something and we both answer that we kind of our because our parents have know each other for so long the only reason why I think we haven’t dated is because our parents are best friends from high school and I’m not sure how the friendships would be between our parents if we didn’t work out and I’m sure that might of crossed his mind as well since that’s the only reason we met honestly! I’m very confused sometimes I want to make a move but I’m terrified on the rejection and embarrassment I will feel if I misinterpreted our current friendship.

    #815888 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Punctuation is your friend. But from what i got out of that, just ask him out, or shove your hand down his pants, that’s always works, whichever. Seriously though, periods.

    #815889 Reply
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    Logan

    throw him a football with a note taped to it saying will you date me dude…

    #815895 Reply
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    Rebecca

    @jd, or at least commas. I’m the queen of the run-on, but at least I give obvious pause cues for my readers.

    OP, use your words. If you’re not old enough to have a conversation that could result in rejection, you’re not old enough to date. Period.

    #815896 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    A lot of younger people these days do that then say “oh I am on my phone”. Great, your phone does it automatically! Good grief. I truly worry about our education system these days.

    #815897 Reply
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    Kate

    Commas. Ok, it sounds like you two are just friends, and that he values your friendship. That’s probably the extent of it, but if you really want to know, you could share with him that you’ve always kinda wondered if you two could have worked as more than friends, and has he ever had any thoughts like that? Like, in no way do you want to jeopardize this friendship you two have had for years, but you were wondering.

    #815898 Reply
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    Kate

    Oh, and, you would do that in person, not via text.

    #815917 Reply
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    Essie
    Participant

    If he were interested in more, you would know. Because he would have made a move. You spend a lot of time together, wouldn’t he have tried to kiss you, at least? I just find it hard to believe that a hormonal young guy would have a probably-willing young woman right there, and not go for it….if that’s what he wanted.

    I think the two of you tried dating, he realized that you weren’t a good match for him as a girlfriend, but he liked you as a friend, and that’s where things are. People usually go after what they want. The fact that he hasn’t pursued a romantic relationship with you tells me that he likes things the way they are.

    I wouldn’t say anything, unless you’re willing to lose the friendship.

    #815932 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    If you’re scared he doesn’t feel the same way, just be more flirtatious. Be more obvious if you don’t have the courage to talk to him. I agree people generally go after what they want, but maybe he’s nervous about screwing up your friendship, too?

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