Move across country with boyfriend and I on rocky foundation?
- This topic has 5 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had a pretty rocky relationship during that time, there are periods where things are good and we make progress, and periods where it is hard. He has a problem with lying and I have a problem with my poor reactions. We recently have been offered our dream job working in a ranch in California. I want to go and start my career in this field and would like for us to do that together. But the last month we have been fighting so much about money, now I found out he lied to me again. We just can’t seem to get on the same page. Time is running and I need to decide should I stay or should I go. Should I just take the risk and go to start this job and see how the relationship goes? Or should we end it here and go our separate ways. I am feeling more and more everyday like we shouldn’t be together, but I don’t want to miss this opportunity!
You should go your separate ways. He won’t stop lying to you. What do you mean you have a problem with your “reactions?” Do you mean he has a problem with how you react to his lying? I don’t know but it doesn’t sound good. Tell him to kick dirt and you go take the ranch job.
It certainly sounds like he is trying to make her reactions rather than his lies the problem. That’s a big red flag, as is the repeated lying and the increased level of fighting. You should break up. Can you take the ranch deal without him?
Are the job and the boyfriend a package deal? Can you not take the job and ditch the boyfriend for some reason?
Also I would like to know more about what’s wrong with your reactions. The way it’s presented here it sounds like your fault is you get mad when he lies…which is a pretty normal response to being lied to.
Ugh. Chronic lying is a major red flag. I also read “poor reactions” to mean that he lies to you, you have a reaction, and any negative reaction on your part is deemed an overreaction. Because women daring to have a reaction to a man’s garbage behavior is one way they get labeled crazy. I think it’s fine/normal to not react “well” to someone lying to you.
Anyway, my advice is to follow the career dream but ditch the boyfriend!
Nah, move on. You can’t trust him, and nothing else matters if you can’t trust a person. It also sounds like he might be gaslighting you if he’s telling you that your reaction to his lies is part of the problem. At any rate, this isn’t someone you should do business with OR be in a relationship with. If you aren’t ready to end the relationship, that’s one thing; but don’t go into business with him. That’s a terrible, terrible idea. Can you take the job on your own, without him?
