Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My body sometimes makes me feel weird and embarrassed

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  • #921260 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    Also, I’m a middle aged man-my body is objectively weird and embarrassing. All of my hairline is relocating to my back. No need to feel weird and embarrassed by your body at nineteen.

    #921311 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I would say focus more on not caring what a bitch thinks, and less on trying to explain your metabolism or justify your eating.

    As a teenager I was 5’3”, weighed about 100lbs, and ate whatever I wanted, which was a lot of junk food. I never cared what anyone thought, or even entertained or engaged with anyone else’s commentary because I did not care. I do not care now as an adult. If anyone says anything about how i eat, i just shrug and don’t engage. You’re not a freak, you know that, so just let it go, dismiss it, and don’t care. “Kaylee, do I come in the kitchen and slap food out of your mouth? No, so stfu about what I’m eating.”

    #921420 Reply
    avatarJanet
    Guest

    I don’t want to make my roommates sound THAT bad! We get along well but they actually do think I eat too much. I don’t even disagree with them about that. It’s just that it is my body making me do it. We do separate the grocery bills by the way. They do sometimes seem annoyed when I am hungry at odd times and I am not really sure why.

    My stomach causes me problems other places too. When I was 15 I stayed at my Uncle’s house for a couple of nights. I always ate more than they did but they know me. The second day we went X-country skiing for 5 hours and had dinner early. Two hours later I finished off the dinner leftovers which amazed my Aunt but by 11:00 I was having hunger pangs. She made me omelettes and sandwiches. I probably ate more than I did for dinner.

    It is frustrating because I don’t want to cause a hassle or make people think I am weird but I can’t stop being hungry. I could tell my Aunt thought it was strange. I couldn’t help it. I was really really hungry. Now my Aunt thinks I am a bizarre eating machine. She talked to my mom about it. If I told her I wanted to eat 25 hamburgers she would probably believe it.

    All of this is ultimately because my body just needs more food than other people. I have tried to eat less and my stomach feels tight, I have low energy, and sometimes even headaches. When I eat “normal” I am relaxed and have lots of energy. I know about being tall and an athlete but that is only part of it. I was born this way.

    Sometimes my stomach demands a ridiculous amount of food. Athletics can trigger it. After a hard work out I have woken up hungry at 2:00am, cleaned out the fridge and then gone to Denny’s for breakfast. When this happens at my Uncle’s house, a church sleep over, or some other awkward place, it can be difficult. I don’t know how to deal with these cases and I start to wonder why my body is weird. I have to accept that is weird. Is my Aunt wrong in thinking that it it weird to eat 2000 calories at 11:00pm? The answer is no. So in that way I am weird. Whether it is an overactive metabolism or just a big stomach my body is demanding it and it is weird.

    #921436 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    Even if I thought someone ate too much, I’d never tell them that. I’ve never thought someone was weird for snacking, even if they snacked more than I did.

    Maybe you should consult a dietician if you think it will help normalize how you eat, perhaps one that works with specifically with athletes. Diet culture runs pretty rampant in the U.S. (which is where I’m assuming you are, but I may be wrong) and many people actually under-eat for the sake of being thin or simply wanting to be. Popular apps like MyFitnessPal encourage people to eat 1200 calories/day, which is absurdly low even for a smaller woman.

    #921443 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Stop saying you’re weird. This is getting cringey. Please just eat when you’re hungry and let it go.

    It’s genuinely not weird. Teenagers commonly eat like that. So do athletes. People are giving you shit about it because you’re a woman, and that’s just sexist and gross.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by avatarKate.
    #921451 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    And yes, 1200 calories is absurdly, painfully low. It doesn’t account for any movement, just replacing what you’d burn sitting on your ass watching TV. I’m a smaller woman and would never be able to stick to 1200. I can lose weight on much more than that.

    #921473 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    If you’re embarrassed by being hungry at 2 am when you’re visiting family, pack some food for yourself. Bring protein bars, trail mix, etc whatever.

    You’re body isn’t weird! Please stop degrading yourself because others have made you feel ashamed about your eating habits. If you’re 6’1” 170, and eating this way, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. You’re not overweight or obese. You’re perfectly healthy. As long as you’re paying for your food, you’re fine. It’s actually really rude that people comment. It’s really, really mean for your roommates to add up what you eat or keep track of it in anyway.

    Maybe you should get on a schedule of eating every few hours so you don’t binge in the middle of the night? Other than that I don’t think you need to change yourself. Actually, there is one way you should work to change- change the narrative that you’re weird for eating when you’re hungry. Somehow I doubt your roommates eating 1,200 calories a day feel full and satisfied. I mean, maybe because they are tiny but that’s a low amount of calories, IMO. My son is 6 and a quick google told me he should be eating 1,400-2000 a day.

    It’s not that your body is weird, it’s that they are finding fault with you for not dieting like they do. They are being rude. They are overstepping. Stop apologizing for being healthy and start being confident in your ability to take care of yourself.

    It’s widely known that teenagers eat a lot. It’s not weird. It’s natural.

    #921493 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    She’s actually likely NOT eating 1200 calories a day. Maybe some days she does when she’s being restrictive, but someone who talks about eating 1200 calories a day and is up in another woman’s business about what SHE eats, has issues with food and body image and is probably lying. And hey, if 1200 calories is all her body needs and all she wants to eat, great! Good for her. Who cares? Your body needs more calories more regularly. Who cares?

    #921522 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    Every single person on this board had your back, big time. Yet you’re determined to keep calling yourself weird. We’re giving you solutions, and you’re slapping them away by sticking with your old narrative.

    In other words, we’re more on your side than you are.

    #921556 Reply
    CopaCopa
    Participant

    Yeah, and I feel like this “I eat TOO MUCH! I’m SO weird!” mindset at a younger age is a slippery slope toward disordered eating habits or even a true eating disorder.

    And if your roommates are outwardly annoyed with you for being hungry on top of bluntly telling you that you eat too much, then yeah, they ARE that bad. My college roommates’ hunger cues or eating habits didn’t affect me whatsoever.

    #921636 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    Yes, please stop calling yourself weird. I do like the idea of you seeing a nutritionist so you fully understand your body and what you need so you can confidently shut people down. Think of it as arming yourself with knowledge about your body. And I’m NOT saying to see a nutritionist to help you eat less. Truly.

    I had a story written about myself on my earlier reply. I deleted because I feel like I’m somehow humble bragging when I talk about it, but that’s only because diet culture is so pervasive. I’ll repost.

    I’m 40. I’m 5’6”. I’ve averaged 118 since high school. I’m slender. I eat a lot. A LOT. More than a lot of adult men. More than my husband for sure. My entire life and even still, people comment on it with “wow, you eat a lot for being so thin” or “where do you put it all?” Really, anybody new I’m around will comment on how much I eat for my size. I usually shrug and say I have high metabolism and I walk a lot.

    My metabolism has slowed a bit and I’ve adjusted how much I eat accordingly. But I was honestly that person that went for seconds or thirds and would be hungry again an hour or two later and I’d need a large snack. My mom always joked that she felt like she was feeding teenage boys, not daughters. Also, I’m most definitely not an athlete. Not even a little bit.

    I guess I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone. You’re not weird. Please stop calling yourself that. And please see someone, whether a nutritionist or therapist, so that you truly believe you’re not weird.

    #921664 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    No excuse or justification should be given. Because no one should be talking about anyone else’s body. “I’m hungry” is fine.

    KTFran, no need to mention metabolism or exercise.

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