Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My boyfriend is too harsh on my daughter.

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice My boyfriend is too harsh on my daughter.

This topic contains 77 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by avatar ron 3 days, 5 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 78 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #830291 Reply
    avatar
    cyndi

    WHY are you defending this idiot? HE is not her parent or even step-father. He is your boyfriend and baby daddy. Get out before your poor daughter suffers even more emotional damage.

    #830293 Reply
    avatar
    Oracle

    Just let your daughter stay at grandmothers. At least she is safe there. You meet your boyfriend when your daughter was 4. This is too old for for any boyfriend/stepfather to come in and act in in form as a disciplinarian. This is your job. Also your idea of disciple leaves a lot to be desired. Who disciples a 7 year old for grades. She is not in high school. Your job is to help her and explain to her the assignments. Grades are just to let you know how she is understanding the material. Glad grandmother has taken over this role. Developmentally kids this age are all over the place. And just where is her father? Haveing a non biological male in a household is the most dangerous for the non related children. Why is he paying all the rent if you are working full time? And why are you somehow finding the time to go get your nails done when you are also going to school full time and have a baby at home? Hand this child over to grandmother, she seems to be doing the real work.

    #830295 Reply
    avatar
    ron

    There is a real possibility that LW and her young daughter are being groomed for sexual abuse of the daughter. There are pedophiles who date/marry young mothers just to have access to their daughters and young mothers who will even knowingly allow this as barter to get a bf. We have one such mother and bf on trial for rape/murder in my community at this very moment. Before this current bf, this mother was married to another pedophile — same deal, except for the murder part. Don’t barter your daughter to have a rent-paying bf. Don’t be that desperate.

    #830297 Reply
    avatar
    Jessica

    @ Oracle just because I’m mother and work full time doesn’t mean I don’t have time to do something for myself every once in a while like going to the nail shop. He pays all the rent because we have an agreement that he pays the rent and I pay for utilities, cable, and groceries. For everyone who’s saying I’m a bad mother those accusations are false. I’m a woman who has made bad decisions. Nevertheless my daughter loves me and I love her! Thank you all for your opinions.

    #830299 Reply
    avatar
    Kate
    Keymaster

    You’re being a bad mother by keeping your daughter in this environment with this man.

    #830300 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity

    FFS. Out of all the excellent, important things that were written here that you so desperately need to hear and absorb, you’re fixating on someone asking why you went to the nail salon and on explaining the irrelevant details of your financial arrangement. Talk about not seeing the forest for the trees.

    Your daughter might love you now, but when she grows up she’ll be thinking about you from a different perspective.

    #830301 Reply
    Lucidity
    Lucidity

    LWs like this make me so grateful that my own mother made my health and safety her #1 priority.

    #830302 Reply
    avatar
    anonymousse
    Member

    You are a bad mother if you discipline a seven year old for schoolwork. If she’s struggling she needs support, not abuse and deprivation. Most children need supervision and assistance with homework. That’s not exactly a hard concept to understand.

    You are a terrible mother if you see that your daughter is being abused and mistreated and you do nothing. That includes verbal abuse.

    You are a bad mother if you defend and stay with the man who abuses and mistreats your innocent and helpless daughter.

    Her loving you has nothing to do with it. Every child loves their parents in the beginning. And trust me, when she’s an adult and can understand what happened to her, she won’t look at you so generously.

    How can you say you love her, when you aren’t protecting her?

    #830304 Reply
    avatar
    JD
    Member

    A woman who makes bad decisions that negatively affect her daughter is in fact, a bad mother. You care more about what you want than what she needs. Bad mother.

    #830307 Reply
    avatar
    Cyndi

    YOU are a bad mother in serious denial.

    #830313 Reply
    avatar
    Tabitha_Mc

    So he gets to hit your daughter if he pays rent.

    Great deal he’s got going there.

    And yeah, you’re an awful mother.

    #830315 Reply
    avatar
    ron

    Yeah, the update makes things worse. He’s not supporting you, he’s sharing expenses and yet he makes the argument that his paying his share of the expenses entitles him to hit your daughter and he’ll leave if you forbid him. So, he’s still there, so I guess you’ve accepted his horrible trade-off. Yes, this puts your daughter in a horrible position. She has learned that she needs to be a lot nicer to your bf or he will hit her. Not long before that much nicer includes sexual abuse. You’re a fool and worse you are an awful mother.

Viewing 12 posts - 25 through 36 (of 78 total)
Reply To: My boyfriend is too harsh on my daughter.
Your information: