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Dear Wendy

My boyfriend secretly wears lingerie

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Viewing 10 posts - 13 through 22 (of 22 total)
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  • #862132 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    If you think about it, IF his ex is right and the panties thing is why he broke up with you, then I guess he values his own privacy and feelings of shame over a future with you. That’s … great. Instead of talking about an issue, he just throws it all away. Maybe that’s why he’s divorced.

    #862135 Reply

    Walk away. He already broke up with you.

    #862136 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    Religion REALLY fucks people up sexually… as does waiting until after marriage. Sigh…

    #862170 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    I was wondering why it was such a big deal that your fiance had a kink and why you didn’t know about it till after you were engaged. Then you revealed it. Religion. I hate religion. Look what its doing to your life. Can’t even talk about sex much less have it. I was raised catholic but after I was abused in the name of God I walked away from all of it and have never been happier

    #862197 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ
    Guest

    Stay broken up, move out and move on. Not because of the kink, but because you managed to move in with someone without having the ability to discuss sex or other large relationship things, such as why your guy decided that the relationship wasn’t working for him. You’re literally just assuming it’s the kink thing, but it could be anything, really. You don’t know because he didn’t bother discussing it. This is not a good relationship.

    #862329 Reply

    I’m not sure I believe this one:
    “I have a secret that MIGHT break up my engagement. So, to remedy that, I will definitely break up my engagement.”

    I’m in agreement the ex may have other reasons for telling you this tale.

    Either way, this doesn’t sound like a good match if you are able to break up with no communication. It doesn’t bode well for actual challenges you’ll face as a married couple later.

    #862330 Reply

    1) he’s not your boyfriend anymore, he broke up with you

    2) you trust his ex’s story over what he’s told you about himself

    3) you prioritize keeping the ex’s trust over attempting to fix your broken relationship

    There are so many things dysfunctional about this post. It’s actually probably a good thing that he broke it off because a marriage with a middleman (his ex) is going to be a mess. You don’t know if you have chemistry with him, or what his sexual preferences are. He broke up with you without any explanation. That shows how little your feelings mean to him.

    #862382 Reply
    avatarPDX816
    Guest

    This is a complete shit show, but I agree with everyone else that this is not a good relationship and you should be moving on. Even is it is the kink, he is so repressed he can’t even talk to you about it. He dumped you and even though you love together he refused to discuss why it wasn’t working for him. This isn’t healthy behavior. Aim higher.

    #862936 Reply
    avatardirtorsoil
    Guest

    You seem pretty inexperienced with relationship matters. For that reason I will break it down for you. If your ex-fiancé, as an adult, cannot communicate something so central to a normal adult relationship to you, that is a huge problem. He did you a favor. If you can, I would move out as well. Nothing good can come out of this. He told you who he is, believe him. Move on and don’t waste your time on a man-child (runs from an adult discussion with his fiancé by dumping you!!!! WTF?) who still wants to keep you around to defer rent and (probably) help provide child care. The sooner you cut your losses, the less regret you will feel in the future.

    #862949 Reply
    CurlyQueCurlyQue
    Participant

    Why did you move in together before marriage? It seems if you live together but with no sex there would at least be physical moments where you would know if he’s aroused or not… Are you a lot younger than him?

    But yes, regardless, this man broke your engagement without giving you a reason. He made the choice and it’s done. You need to move out of his house so that your heart can heal.

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