Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My boyfriend's daughter hates me. Help!

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This topic contains 30 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by avatar Kate 7 months ago.

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  • #752507
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    LisforLeslie

    As someone who had step parents with very different approaches to step-parenting, I hate seeing step parents who consider the child to be “other”. Seriously, family is what you make it not your blood.

    My step mother resented me. After 26 fucking years of her being my step mother I was telling some plans and she said “It’s a good thing you’re not my daughter.” 26 years.

    My stepfather on the other hand referred to me as his daughter from day one. His whole family took me in as one of theirs. Never overstepped on the discipline (that was mom’s job) but never EVER made me feel unwanted or not part of the family unit. I sat by his side when he was in hospice. I told him how much he added to my life and how mom and I got lucky with him. I meant every word.

    #752508

    Sorry about your stepmom LisforLeslie, what a sad person she must be. I’m glad you had a great stepfather to balance the scales a bit.

    #752509
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    LisforLeslie

    She’s been dead a while now and I don’t miss her. She was not consistently awful but it was always clear we weren’t family, even if we had the same last name.

    Her daughter married an alcoholic who beat her then she ran away with his best friend who was an alcoholic drug addict, leaving their infant son with said alcoholic husband.

    Yeah you bet I’m not your daughter.

    #752518
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    Ruby Tuesday

    LW, I second the suggestion that you should talk to your doctor about post-partum depression.

    #752520
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    keyblade
    Member

    I’m sorry LisforLeslie, it sounds like your mother and stepfather really healed a lot of damage. I don’t know what can be done with people like your step-mom. I wish you hadn’t had to live with that attitude.

    #752529
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    dinoceros
    Member

    I think you should talk with a doctor, as well. If postpartum depression is ruled out, see a therapist.

    It’s not sustainable for you to hate your boyfriend’s daughter. She has a right to his attention as much as you do. That’s what happens when you date someone who has a child already.

    #752770
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Pretty sure this is also ohsuzanna / Katy. Different deets but enough lines up that it’s got to be her. Go check yourself into a facility, lady. Have yourself locked up so you can’t hurt anyone.

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