Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My boyfriends father and brother are damaging our relationship

Home Forums General Chat My boyfriends father and brother are damaging our relationship

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  • #874479 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    I doubt your bf will ever move out of that house. He bought a house with his dad & brother because he intended to live with them for very long term. You’ve been there 2 years already and he hasn’t made any moves to get out & will be upset if you move out. Get out. If your bf is capable of disentangling himself from the disfunction he can join you in your rental. Not everyone needs to own a home. Your bf is insisting on saving for an impossible mortgage because he knows that’s how he gets what he really wants. To have you & his dysfunctional family all together. Just because he’s tidy doesn’t mean he isn’t just as dysfunctional as the family he grew up in

    #874484 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    Some good points being raised here. Is your boyfriend paying part (or all) of the mortgage on the family home? Is he saving for another home for the two of you? Or is it just you that’s saving? Do you have a target in mind for how much longer it will take you to have enough money to buy a home?

    Also confusing: You talk about saving for a mortgage, but what you’re really doing is saving for a downpayment, right? The mortgage is the loan you take out to pay the rest of the cost of the house, the part you don’t have the savings for. Banks want to see that you have enough saved to cover the downpayment, but getting the loan itself is more about your income than what you have in the bank. They want to know that you can make those payments every month.

    Move out. With or without your boyfriend. If you stay in that house, it’ll kill your relationship, so the home-buying becomes a moot point anyway. If he breaks up with you because you moved out of this gross situation, with his creepy father stalking you all day, he won’t be much of a loss.

Viewing 2 posts - 13 through 14 (of 14 total)
Reply To: My boyfriends father and brother are damaging our relationship
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