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Dear Wendy

“My ex boyfriend wants me back”

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This topic contains 16 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by avatar Bacon Mistress 3 months, 4 weeks ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 17 total)
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  • #785327 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    From a LW:

    “I was in a relationship with a guy when I was still in school.. he was that typical “bad boy” from a filthy rich family.

    He filled my life with adventure and exciting moments, I felt so alive with him… Suddenly my “oh so boring” life was filled with happy moments, and we did things which was daring yet fun at the same time, the moments spent with him were the best moments of my life.. though my parents and Friends thought that he is not a good guy, but only I knew that he was not like that… I knew that his “bad boy” thingy was just a facade and deep down he is a nice and genuine person. I loved him with all my heart and couldn’t imagine myself with anyone else..

    Everything was perfect for me, he was perfect for me, but one day he just abruptly ended things between us, he never said anything nor he gave any apt reason, he just said “you deserve someone better, I am toxic for you” though I said him that he is the one for me and I will not leave him, he didn’t listen, he severed all contacts and moved away, I was devastated beyond words, my friends and family thought that I was stupid enough to trust such kind of boy, as they warned me time and again that this boy was not good for me. I had suicidal thoughts and my family was very worried for me and I started seeing a therapist, after many sessions I calmed down a bit, but I developed a distrust for men after this, many genuine and good guys tried to pursue me but I didn’t respond, some how I completed my education and started a new job, I pretended that everything is okay but deep down I missed him.. I cried my self to sleep every night, because no matter what I did I couldn’t forget him..

    One day, someone pinged me in Facebook and it said “wassup? Missing me baby girl?” I knew it was him, I had a tsunami of emotions inside my mind at that time… I responded with a rude “what do you want?” Text.. and he replied “you” with a wink (some men and their charms) I asked him is this some kind of a joke or something, he said that he was damn serious..

    I said that I have nothing to do with him and asked me to leave me alone, he said that “trust me baby I thought, you would be better off without me, and I had my reason for doing that, but I knew that you were going through hell, I wanted to come and hug you every time you cried for me, and I missed you so much but I simply couldn’t as I had my reasons” and to my amazement he knew everything my whereabouts all these years, when I asked him about the reason he had for leaving me without any explanation… He replied “I cannot tell you” ..

    He told that he thought I would be better off without him, but instead I became more gloomy and he was responsible for that, he told me that this time he is not going to give up on me, no matter what the “consequences” are, and even my answer was no, he said he will not give up at any cost,, what should I do? “

    #785329 Reply
    Dear Wendy
    Dear Wendy
    Keymaster

    He dumps you and disappears for years and his way of trying to get you back is messaging you on Facebook asking “wassup? Missing me baby girl?” ?!
    Come on, now. When all your friends and family believe someone isn’t good for you, there’s a reason. Honestly, your description of this guy makes him sound like a loser. Someone who is “damn serious” about being back with you will actually open up and be honest about why he couldn’t be with you for the years he disappeared. He’s probably just bored and will move on soon if you don’t give him the attention he’s seeking (which you shouldn’t..).

    #785341 Reply
    avatar
    Essie
    Participant

    He sounds like a character in a bad romance novel. Geez, girl, you need to aim higher. A lot higher. Have some self-respect.

    He was just playing with you then, and he’s just playing with you now. Don’t fall for it again. Block him on Facebook, your phone, your e-mail.

    I mean, come on. “Wassup? Missing me baby girl?” Aside from being hilariously lame, what a thing to say to someone you dumped without an explanation and haven’t contacted for years.

    Block him. You can do so much better that this sleazy loser.

    #785345 Reply
    avatar
    SpaceySteph
    Participant

    1) there’s no such thing as everything being perfect and someone being perfect for you. You sound very young. Let go of the fairy tale, nothing is perfect. I love my husband very much. He’s a good partner, a good father to our child, and we have a pretty good relationship. I still wouldn’t define him or our relationship as perfect; everyone has flaws.
    2) A dude that dumps you, waits for you to put your life together to come slithering back, and pretends he has some mysterious and important reason for leaving that he can’t tell you about is most definitely NOT perfect.
    I bet the reason is that a better offer (another woman) came along, and that’s over so now he’s back for round 2 with you. Aim higher.
    3) “baby girl” Ew.

    #785374 Reply
    avatar
    Northern Star

    He left because he found another girl he liked better. He tried hitting you up again because she dumped him.

    Don’t be such a sucker.

    #785380 Reply
    avatar
    SpaceySteph
    Participant

    How many years has it been? You’ve been torn up about this guys for multiple years? Its normal to go through a mourning period after a breakup but not one that goes on for years.
    You need to see this guy for the slimeball he really is. I say this in the nicest way possible… get a grip!!!

    #785381 Reply
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    ron

    You need more therapy, but you need therapy for the correct problem. He didn’t cause you to distrust men. If your experience with him caused a distrust of men, then he would be the man that you distrusted the most and most actively avoided. You are still the moth flying in to be destroyed by his flame. What you have is an extreme obsession for a guy who is no good for you. You’ve ignored other men, not because you distrust men, but because you can’t move one step beyond your obsession for this guy. This is like an addiction You think nobody else could possibly give you the thrills he did, so you crave a return of those thrills seeing him as the only possible source. If you go back to this guy, he will abandon you again. His whole communication with you is total b.s. That you are so willing to fall for it is what you and your therapist need to discuss.

    #786402 Reply
    avatar
    dinoceros
    Member

    This isn’t a movie. The “bad boy from a rich family” thing that you describe and the way you seem to think it’s cute that he’s treating you like crap makes it sound like you think that kind of trope from movies is real. In real life, guys who ditch you with no warning are bad. That’s it. All that matters is they act like that. You don’t need to try to decide that you think they are actually sweet on the inside.

    I’m generally opposed to people getting back together with exes, mostly because nobody seems to put effort into actually making sure that what caused the breakup before is resolved. They tend to be sort of desperate at that point and then and are willing to engage in wishful thinking so that they can let the person back into their life. I don’t think there’s a good reason why a person leaves with no warning. (It would be different if you two had a mature conversation about the timing being wrong or whatever before your breakup.) Even if that were something that a person could “resolve,” he isn’t trying to. You know from this that he will likely pick up and leave you at random again (and you know that it’s not healthy for your mental health) and that he has little regard for your feelings or you as a person.

    Don’t live your life like a movie. It’s not one.

    #786404 Reply

    What Ron said, you need more therapy. If you valued yourself you would see this guy and his pathetic come-on for the waste of time it is. He’s 100% a bored player looking for attention.

    #786436 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Oh boy. I’m sorry, but he’s a total asshole.
    Please tell me it takes more than a few “baby girl” commments to forget how he left you and how long you’ve cried over him.

    He won’t tell you why he left you? Because somewhere deep down you know it’s such a bad reason, it would probably destroy the fairytale fantasy he holds over you.

    What you should have done (years ago) is block him on all social media. That’s how he knew what you’ve been up to.

    #786437 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    Deep down…he wasn’t a nice or genuine person!

    #787041 Reply
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    Stillrunning

    “he told me that this time he is not going to give up on me, no matter what the “consequences” are, and even my answer was no, he said he will not give up at any cost…what should I do?“

    Cut contact with him and don’t listen to his controlling, stalker talk. He’s enjoying playing with you, that’s all there is to it.

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