Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My ex is so confusing!

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  • #849853 Reply

    So my ex and i broke up about 6 months ago and we have been seeing each other about once a week since. We have sex. I’ve seen pictures of him and another girl and asked him about it and he swears they are just friends. He tells me the break up was because he is dealing with some anxiety and depression and just needs to work that out. He tells me he’s still in love with me and i very much love him as well. About a week ago he went camping and i asked if she was there and he lied i saw pictures later that week and told him i knew. He blocked me and didn’t respond to my message about the pictures. He refuses to say they are anything more than friends even to his mother. I just don’t know what to think. She lives two hours away in a busy beach city. His work is 5-6 days a week long days. I want to get him completely back but i don’t know how.

    #849855 Reply
    Bon VivantBon Vivant

    I’m not sure what’s confusing here: you broke up and he’s been using you for a booty call while he dates/goes camping with someone else and gives you some BS excuse for the breakup. He’s moved on, so should you.

    #849856 Reply

    He blocked you, isn’t responding, and yet you want him back?

    Read a book on self-esteem. That’s sincere advice. Your bare minimum criterion in a boyfriend should be — “wants to be with me.” (If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Period.)

    #849857 Reply

    You can’t get him back because he doesn’t value or respect you. He was doing a pretty bad job of lying about the other woman he’s seeing, and now he’s blocked you. You shouldn’t want to get him back.

    Why would you want to be with someone who lies to you?

    #849866 Reply

    Maybe you should think a little harder. What does he have to do for you to say enough?

    #849871 Reply

    Oh man. This isn’t confusing. It’s a straightforward case of “doesn’t want to be your boyfriend but no-strings regular sex is cool.” He’s seeing this other girl, but she lives far away and you’re right there with the effortless sex.

    There’s no way to get him back, but I’m sure he’ll be happy to keep hooking up. I’ve seen women do this for YEARS with an ex who has a new gf or is even engaged. Don’t do that. It’s a pointless waste of time.

    #849874 Reply

    This dude sucks. Move on and find someone who both wants to be with you AND have sex with you.

    #849885 Reply

    Yeah, your ex is actually not confusing at all. He dumped you, said whatever he had to to keep banging you while dating long distance chick, and then blocked you when you called him out because he doesn’t want to deal with you. He literally doesn’t care about you. Why in the world is this someone you want to get back? Aim higher. I encourage you to get therapy, it’s clear there are some self worth and self esteem issues going on.

    #849887 Reply

    There’s nothing even a little bit confusing about this. He’s using you for sex because his girlfriend is far away, and he knows all he has to do to get you into bed is tell you he loves you. The minute you caught on, he was done with you.

    I hope you spend some time thinking about what a healthy, loving relationship looks like before you start dating again. And I hope you find your self-respect.

    #849897 Reply

    Some guys just like to keep their exes in a back pocket to play whenever they feel like it, sounds like he is one of those.He’s no intention whatsoever of getting back with you but he won’t turn down the sex, the ego boost, the security of having you right there whenever he feels like it. It probably gives him the ability to keep New Girlfriend insecure enough to be manipulable too. Cut him off.

    #849903 Reply

    There’s nothing remotely confusing about this. He used you for sex when you were willing to settle for just that. The minute you started making other demands or question his actions, he blocked you.

    You can do a lot better than this. Just block him, or at the very least, don’t try and get him back anymore.

    #849933 Reply

    People can have sex with someone they do not love or respect.

    His feelings are clear. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t really like you. He doesn’t respect you.

    Aim higher.

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