- This topic has 8 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 21 hours, 25 minutes ago by Oracle.
September 22, 2022 at 8:14 pm #1116133cns82Participant
I left my ex 6 months ago. He cheated on me, we got back together and then I realized I needed to heal from what he did and other things that happened. Since I broke up with him, he has asked to see me literally every week for 6 months. I was not ready…it was too emotionally difficult for me.
He didn’t seem to understand this. He would get upset and block me, ignore me and shut me out instead of being patient and understanding. He also dated others yet would tell me how much he loves me, etc. He honestly delayed my healing with the games and silent treatments. He is 37 and I would think a man this age would understand.
Anytime I would decide to see him, he would pull another silly stunt by shutting me out. The last time he asked me, I was finally ready but couldn’t see him the day he wanted. He wouldn’t hear it and didn’t take into account my schedule. This isn’t the first time. He told me I missed my chance and I wasn’t ready the other times so why now? He told me to walk in his shoes and understand why he felt the way he did. It really hurt me he said this because with what he put me through, and explaining it all…it didn’t make a difference. I have expressed my feelings to the point of exhaustion.
He put the blame on me and it’s really messed my head and emotions up. No matter what i said, did or no matter how good I was to him when I should have just told him to leave me alone it didn’t help. It had to be his way. I also never really received a genuine apology or remorse. My head is messed up and I need some advice or words of wisdom. Thank you.September 23, 2022 at 2:07 am #1116138TuiParticipant
Don’t expect an apology or explanations for why he’s treated you badly. Just block him in every way and do not respond to anything, even if he seems to be trying to win you back. Then, therapy.September 23, 2022 at 5:20 am #1116141PhoebeGuest
100% agree with Tui. He’s messing with you, on purpose. He doesn’t want to be with you, he wants to be the person in control and who broke up with you, not the other way around.
Every time you give him attention you’re hurting yourself and giving him what he wants. The only thing to do is block him so you aren’t agonizing over every text and get help.September 23, 2022 at 7:06 am #1116144LisforLeslieGuest
Walk in his shoes? Did he ever walk a meter in yours?
You are so much better without this game playing awful person. He’s manipulative and controlling. Please move on and maybe some therapy as this person crossed every boundary you set and then blamed you for it.September 23, 2022 at 7:21 am #1116145AnonymousseGuest
Yes to what Tui and Phoebe said. It sounds like he has really deep issues, and that you should block him for your own mental well-being. I don’t really think he cares about what really happened, he just wants to blame you.
When you break up, just break up and go. They don’t deserve more time or explanation or chances with you. Don’t let men cheat and then tell you they deserve another chance, every week for six months. You don’t need to give anyone your time, let alone an idiot who cheated on you. That’s never going to work.September 23, 2022 at 7:21 am #1116146AnonymousseGuest
And what Leslie said!September 23, 2022 at 9:28 am #1116148CopaParticipant
Second the suggestion to speak to a therapist. I can appreciate the desire to hear someone who cheated on you apologize sincerely, understand the pain and damage they’ve caused, and take accountability. But, I don’t think you will ever get that. And if you do, I don’t think it will make you feel any better. Nothing he can say will undo what he’s done the past six months. Work with a therapist to get the closure you think an apology would give you. You will get your peace of mind back faster when you cut this guy off entirely.September 23, 2022 at 11:39 am #1116149FyodorGuest
Half the world is men*. You can find someone who won’t cheat on you and then demand you forgive him and then get outraged when you don’t do it fast enough. Though I agree that it would be better to maybe take some time off from dating and see a therapist.
*Learn about this and more in Fyodor’s Almanac of Amazing but True Facts. Available for 49.99 on Amazon.September 24, 2022 at 11:23 am #1116155OracleGuest
Remorse or an apology from this guy? Dream on. Some people just like to mess with your head. When people tell you who they are believe them. Go no contact.