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Dear Wendy

My Ex Wife is Sleeping with My GF’s Ex Husband

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  • This topic has 15 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 2 months ago by avatar brise.
Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 16 total)
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  • #852025 Reply
    avatarTyler Pitzer
    Guest

    We just found out that my Ex Wife is sleeping with my GF’s Ex Husband. They live 4 hours apart, so obviously it’s intentional. We both feel like it’s a violation of our social circles and find it really creepy.

    #852026 Reply
    avatarHazel
    Guest

    It’s not a violation of anything, they are not involved with either of you anymore, it really isn’t your business.I can see why it might irk-the thought of them discussing you both, but try not to let it bother you, and be happy in your new relationship. If your social circle are making you feel uncomfortable by gossiping about it, try to just shut them down, telling them to stop bothering you about things which are none of your -or their- concern. People do love a good gossip and I can see that could be really intrusive and annoying but it is probably in your power to make this unimportant enough for it to stop.

    #852033 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    How is it violating you social circle if one of them lives 4 hours away. You and your gf don’t own your exes. Live your own lives and let them live theirs. You’ve moved on, so can they.

    #852036 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    it’s none of your business who they are dating/sleeping with

    #852042 Reply
    avatarNicole
    Guest

    They’re 4 hours away from you. Let it go. Maybe they genuinely like each other, maybe they’re just doing it to annoy you (in which case, congrats to them because it worked), but either way you can just go about your own life and stay out of their relationship entirely. If they’re with each other out of real interest, then you’ve lost nothing by keeping yourself separate from their relationship, and if they got together with the intent to bother you but don’t get a reaction, then they’ll lose interest and find more productive hobbies.

    #852044 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    Did you and your GF get together while you were still married? Is that why you feel that there are petty reasons for them to get together? Is that why you think they’re encroaching on your social circle – because there’s a chance that your friends will choose the two people who weren’t cheating instead of you and your gf?

    #852048 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    I was wondering the same as LisforLeslie. Did you have an affair with your girlfriend and break up both marriages? If you did they may have gotten together to discuss what each knew about the affair and felt like they had a lot in common.

    Regardless of how or why they got together it is none of your business. If your friends are their friends and choose to hang out with them that is your friend’s business. It might feel weird but it is out of your control and none of your business. When you get divorced you get to control your own actions but you get to control no one else.

    #852076 Reply
    CurlyQueCurlyQue
    Participant

    That happened with Shania Twain! Her best friend got with her husband, and in the aftermath of she got with her ex bf’s ex husband.

    #852077 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    Your divorce will affect your friend group anyway. They will probably hangout with only one of you at a time anyway. The same for your girlfriend’s friend group so it doesn’t matter whether your ex is dating her ex, the friend groups would see only one or the other at a time.

    When you are with either friend group make sure you never say anything bad about either ex. People hate being put in an uncomfortable situation. If it turns out that they are more fun and it is easier to be with them then the friend groups will start choosing them.

    #852078 Reply
    avatarFyodor
    Guest

    This was the plot of a 1984 TV movie starring John Ritter.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love_Thy_Neighbor_(1984_film)

    #852079 Reply
    SkyblossomSkyblossom
    Participant

    I really don’t get how this violates your social circles. You seem to think the two of you can date but the two of them can’t? Really?

    #852106 Reply
    avatarpurplestar
    Guest

    Hmmm, your exes have the same problem you do. Their exes are sleeping together and violating their social circle and they think it is really creepy.

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