Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My Fiances brother is dating my fiances ex girlfriend

Home Forums General Chat My Fiances brother is dating my fiances ex girlfriend

This topic contains 66 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Hazel 2 months ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 37 through 48 (of 67 total)
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  • #815050 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    Do you all live in a remote village in 1743? Are there no other ppl around that you have to be this socially entwined? Every single person in this scenario is immature and dramatic- the ex, the fiance’s brother, the fiance, the parents, and this bride.

    The ex because ew, MUST you date your ex’s brother??
    The brother because ew MUST you date your brother’s ex?????
    The parents for insisting Mila has her fiance’s ex in the wedding.
    The fiance for siding with his parents.
    And Mila, for her jealousy and insecurity and for not saying NO to this batshit idea from the get go and instead waiting to kick this woman out of her wedding at the last minute which will inevitably cause a bunch of chaos.

    You lunatics deserve each other.

    #815051 Reply
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    Northern Star

    “ALSO. She says in one of her posts that the family *knew* she didn’t like the ex. They asked her to ask her anyway. Hmm… maybe they were trying to signal to her that she needs to grow up, suck it up, and get along with this woman. That’s a valid message, tbh.”

    I think that makes them sound like jerks, tbh.

    #815052 Reply
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    ele4phant

    I really don’t know what to make of the family’s relationship with the ex, and their relationship with the OP, but it’s clear they care for the other woman and she’s going to be part of the picture. OP can accept it and make peace with it, or walk away from the whole situation.

    What does not seem to be an option is forcing the other woman out of the picture. The family has accepted her already, they accepted her first.

    #815053 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    They sound like jerks for wanting the LW to be the bigger person and get along? Okay.

    #815054 Reply
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    Northern Star

    “They sound like jerks for wanting the LW to be the bigger person and get along? Okay.”

    No, they sound like jerks for thinking they get to choose bridesmaids this woman doesn’t even like.

    Who does that?

    #815055 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    I didn’t say they’re jerks. I think they’re all nuts, though.

    #815056 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Idk, I’ve heard way worse on here. It sounds like helicopter parents trying to get a bunch of kids to get along.

    #815057 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Northern star said they sound like jerks.

    #815058 Reply
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    ele4phant

    They may all be nuts. OP wrote in, not the in-laws, so her nuttiness is getting addressed.

    I think it’s pretty petty to dislike this woman so strongly, given what she’s told us. She’s entitled to feel how she feels, but just sayin’, I think she’s petty.

    And as a parting thought – a wedding is but one day, marriage is the rest of your life.

    If the rest of your life means being around these nutty in-laws that have decided they favor their son’s shared girlfriend over you, that perhaps gives you money with some potentially huge and weird strings, and if you’re husband is going to defer to his family’s nuttiness, is that the life you want?

    #815059 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    There are other less-high stakes-ways to encourage these two women to to get along than to force them into a bridal party together. Like a lunch date. Mani-pedis together? Or to accept they’ll never be best friends and not get involved??

    To be clear, at this point the only way forward is for LW to suck it up and stop being so dramatic. I think her uncharitable thoughts about the ex are at BEST far fetched and most realistically based in insecurity. She should be a grown up and be civil to this woman and absolutely NOT kick her out of the wedding party.

    #815060 Reply
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    Northern Star

    “Dear Wendy: I want to force my son’s fiance daughter-in-law to be friends with my other son’s girlfriend (they don’t get along because she’s my first son’s ex). I should tell her to ask the girlfriend to be a bridesmaid, and that will make them buddies, right? By the way, I’m paying for everything so I should get to choose the bridesmaids, right?”

    Suuuuuuuuure…

    #815061 Reply
    avatar
    Northern Star

    I find it ludicrous that everyone thinks groom’s parents (POTENTIALLY) paying for a wedding = groom’s parents choosing the bridesmaids. I’m shocked so many posters came to that conclusion.

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