Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

My friend is acting weird

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  • #966760 Reply
    avatarDaisy
    Guest

    I was supposed to meet my best friend.Today she wrote to me that she doesn’t know when she’ll be able to meet because she has a serious problem that she doesn’t want to talk to me about.I don’ t understand why she doesn’t want to tell me. I thought we were telling each other everything.I’m sad and I’m worrying about her. I don’t know what to answer her.

    #966775 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    Nobody talks about everything with anybody else. Express sympathy and a willingness to help, if/when she wants your help. Don’t take it personally.

    #966804 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    Answer her with: “Oh no! So sorry to hear that. I am here if you need me.”

    #967470 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Maybe she just doesn’t have the energy or capacity to tell you right now. Express empathy, offer help if she wants it and give her time.

    #967487 Reply
    avatarEle4phant
    Guest

    Don’t push. She’s not ready to tell you (or anyone maybe) yet what she’s dealing with. This has nothing to do with you or how she feels about your friendship, this is how she’s dealing with something difficult in her life.

    Say you’re sorry to hear that, that you care about her, and that you’re there when she’s ready, and in the meantime can you only do anything to help, like sending her a meal or running errands?

    #967503 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I think younger people equate sharing with closeness. Like if you *open up* to someone or they *tell you things about themselves* then you have a close relationship. Not necessarily. I think you can easily get fooled into thinking you’re in some kind of deep relationship because one or both of you over shared. Watch out for that when you’re dating. It’s artificial. And on the flip side of that, you can absolutely have a good friendship or relationship without immediately telling each other everything. Your friend doesn’t have to want to talk to you about everything as soon as it happens. Just say you hope they’re ok and you’re here if you need them. Don’t stress.

    #967504 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Actually though, HAVE you ever met this girl in person? It sounds like maybe you haven’t, it was only online? If that’s the case, maybe this is an excuse because she’s not ready to meet or didn’t represent herself truthfully.

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