My friend is having an affair with a married man

[Kate]

The LW told us that this morning!

[Bittergaymark]

True. But there are plenty of other ways to be judgemental…

[ktfran]

I seriously doubt I’m one of the most judgmental people who posts here. I call out people for being jerks. And I tell most to relax, they’re making a bigger deal out of something than needs be. You’re the one making this a thing BGM. And I’m definitely consistent in my posts and my viewpoints.

[Kate]

Sure, and I don’t think those are any more relevant to this discussion than the number of men the friend has slept with.

[Kate]

Yeah I was going to say, I don’t think KTFran is that judgmental at all.

[brise]

This can happen in a divorce situation. Like a great hunger of sex, validation, narcissic compensation, … She felt wronged and she wants to take her revenge on life, on men.

What you can say, LW, is that you disapprove the married men stuff (rightly so), and get a bit dizzy with her shenanigans right now, so you don’t want to discuss it. She can do what she wants, she is an adult, she is single. But please would she stop using you as her confidant. You don’t want to hear any of this.
Problem solved. YOu don’t have to cut off the friendship over this.
Except if she can’t stop boasting and relies too much on your help.
Assert yourself. Not that complicated.
Not your circus not your monkeys.

[Kate]

“ This can happen in a divorce situation. Like a great hunger of sex, validation, narcissic compensation, … She felt wronged and she wants to take her revenge on life, on men.”

Sure, or maybe she just likes sex?

[Karebear1813]

Your friend is of great questionable character. She literally introduced you to one of her married flings. She honestly sounds unstable. I’d cut out of the friendship because WHEN sh*t hits the fan you really don’t want to be her go to gal.

Stop responding to text – appear unavailable or busy with no apologizes. If confronted just response by saying you are no longer getting any gratification out of this friendship. If she presses you then tell her your feelings.

[floats_in-the_ocean]

“Dear friend, i love you and i want to be there for you, but honestly I don’t feel comfortable hearing about you sleeping with married men. it makes me uncomfortable. can we talk about something else?”

[istrice01]

You people know that marriage is a social construct, right? Trace the origin of marriage and check out how other countries view it; broaden your horizons a bit.

Some people even have open marriages and don’t care about their spouse banging someone else. How folks view sex is highly individualistic. I love variety and the rapture of a man’s body. I’ve got no shame in saying it. Also, don’t watch Dr. Phil; he’s a moral zealot with biases of his own.

[ChloeSydney]

@istrice01 That’s completely irrelevant to this discussion. All of the married men that my friend has slept with have stated that they are doing so WITHOUT their wives’ knowledge. They go to extreme lengths to keep their activity secret. The one she is in love with, only communicates via the KIK app, which he deletes every night and reinstalls every morning. No amount of begging and breaking up with him has gotten him to give out his mobile phone number.

I don’t have any moral issues with the concept of open marriages, polyamory etc, so long as ALL parties are aware that’s what they are involved in.

In the situation I’m discussing, there are partners sitting at home completely unaware that their man is being intimate with others. That’s not cool.

[Jamie]

This is why it’s a good idea to get tested (full range) twice a year. Don’t trust anyone with your health to that degree.

[Author]

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