This topic contains 13 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by Buttery 1 month, 3 weeks ago.
- July 11, 2019 at 4:19 am #847726
My girlfriend have a friend from work (guy), he not from the same area so she knows him only from the phone, he is like 1.5 hour away from our place.
they are talking on the phone all day long.
I don’t mind that she have guy friend, I also have many girls that are just friends.
in the beginning she said she have a boyfriend, but nevertheless he sent her with the office papers chocolate or some notes like “to my princess ” and stuff like that.
she did clarify to him that he need to stop with this because she have a boyfriend and he did stopped .
I talked with her about it, I told her he is getting into our relationship, she mention he is only a friend and she will talk with him less hours , (I didn’t asked her to stop talking with him, I think she need to do this by herself)
I don’t understand why she is still talking with him, she know its bother me a lot.
She has many guy friends and I really don’t mind at all, but this one, she doesn’t even know him, she doesn’t even saw him (only Instagram and stuff like that) saw I don’t understand why is she talking with him if its hurt my feeling.
I could use some advise.
Thanks a lot.
We are together almost 4 years and we are talking about getting married.
but every time I see her talking with him I am thinking about breakup, not because she is talking with him but because she know this hurting me and she still doing thisJuly 11, 2019 at 7:25 am #847745
She’s cheating on you emotionally from what I read.
Tell her one last time how it makes you feel about her talking to this one individual guy, we all have friends of the opposite sex and we all talk, but this one doesn’t make sense to me why she would talk so much with someone she hasn’t even met. If she knows it hurts you and she still does it? I would break up with her just too show her that she needs to respect the relationship boundaries. This will either open her eyes or she will hook up with this guy.July 11, 2019 at 8:14 am #847750
Did you tell her this is hurting you? Tell her that. Tell her this is making you think about whether you have long term potential or not. Having friends is one thing, but investing hours everyday getting closer to someone else is too much. Be honest. Don’t tell her to stop, but tell her it hurts you and you feel disrespected.July 11, 2019 at 1:34 pm #847840
She is doing this because she is getting something out of it. I’d ask her what she gets out of spending so much time focused on him. Tell her it is hurting you and you are considering breaking up. If she is already so focused outside your relationship you are probably better off breaking up. It seems that, at least emotionally, she has moved on. This does sound like an emotional affair.July 11, 2019 at 1:49 pm #847842
I am all for people being able to be “just” friends, and I think you have been quite readable here. The gifts and “to my princess” cards are definitely crossing a line. Plus ick. The while princess stuff is just… Ick.
Everybody here is advising you to simply express to your girlfriend how much all this is hurting you.
Only I suspect you have already done so. If I am mistaken, then do so. Follow this sound counsel. If you already have to no avail…? Yeah. I’d Move On Already.July 11, 2019 at 1:50 pm #847844
**edit. reasonable! not readable!July 11, 2019 at 3:35 pm #847861
Break up. She’s having an emotional affair. She doesn’t care enough about you to stop.July 11, 2019 at 5:02 pm #847865
Hmmm I don’t know – like I hear what you’re saying about it hurting you but as you both have friends of the opposite gender it’s kind of interesting when you just want to exclude one of them. Now I hear what you said about the gifts, etc., but you addressed it with her and then she addressed it with him so it sounds like she’s keeping boundaries for the relationship. She even reduced hours of talking to him – though you would prefer her not to speak to him at all but haven’t said so.
Is the relationship with this guy very different from the others? She doesn’t give the others so much time, I assume?July 11, 2019 at 5:28 pm #847867
My impression is that she is spending hours per day talking with the other guy. That is a huge amount of time to spend on one friend day in and day out.July 11, 2019 at 5:59 pm #847868
“Hmmm I don’t know – like I hear what you’re saying about it hurting you but as you both have friends of the opposite gender it’s kind of interesting when you just want to exclude one of them.”
Yeah, it’s weird how he’s OK with regular friendships but objects to the guy who has been pursuing her romantically. Confounding!July 11, 2019 at 6:40 pm #847869
Most women don’t find it enjoyable to talk all day to a guy who is romantically interested in them if they are not interested in him too.July 11, 2019 at 8:25 pm #847872
Fyodor: Hilarious response. So dead on. Damn… Beat me to it.