Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

“My Girlfriend Won’t Have Sex with Me”

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice “My Girlfriend Won’t Have Sex with Me”

This topic contains 26 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by Skyblossom Skyblossom 3 weeks, 5 days ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 27 total)
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  • #852475 Reply
    Miss MJ
    Miss MJ
    Participant

    It doesn’t really matter why she said no, the point is that she did. Nor does it matter whether you agree with her reasons for saying no. You have to either accept that she’s not ready to have a sex with you and enjoy the relationship as it is for now and give things time to progress or break up and find someone with whom you’re more sexually compatible. For the love of god, though, knock it off with the manipulation and pressure. It’s not only gross and a dick move, but it’s also *such* a turnoff.

    #852492 Reply
    avatar
    HVV
    Member

    Honestly, your a complete dick for feeling so entitled towards your partner and her body.
    ‘Anyone else would of dumped her by now’ You are very wrong. I can assure you that their would be many guys that would be more than willing to give her the respect she deserves for wanting to wait.

    You would be doing her a MASSIVE favour by dumping her sir.

    BTW, has noone ever told you desperation is extremely unattractive? no wonder she doesnt want to touch you.

    #852506 Reply

    Religion CAN really mess up people’s views on sex. BUT if that’s what’s going to cause her to lose your entitled self, then it actually worked out well for her in this case.

    #852508 Reply
    CurlyQue
    CurlyQue
    Participant

    Agree with everyone above but i’m also curious on the ages involved. Is she a virgin or someone with limited sexual experience? Is she quite a bit younger than the LW?

    #852509 Reply
    avatar
    PDX816

    Please take this time to realize that you are 100% in the wrong for the pressure you are putting on her, and she probably does think you’ll lose interest in her after sex because that’s all you seem to give a shit about. What you are doing is gross and manipulative, you have no right to her body in any way, and you claiming anyone would have dumped her by now is just wrong.
    Shame on you, I really hope you are a young as you sound because you have time to change because this nonsense is how women feel like they were sexually assaulted.
    Please break up with her at this point, you have proven that you don’t respect her and any sexual act she gives in too with you will probably lead her to regretting your relationship entirely. Do the decent thing and don’t make her live with that.

    #852512 Reply
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    Bittergaymark

    I bet she is twenty six. And he is twenty-eight.

    At any rate, LW, you should also move on.

    She can find a “nice” guy at church who is, curiously, NOT into sex much either. Especially icky oral sex. The will then marry so she can then sit home nights, decade after decade, knitting, wonder where Mr Religious is while he is off busy blows guys at rest areas. 🙄

    #852514 Reply
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    Miss MJ

    I’d guess that they’re probably college freshmen aged or something thereabouts, or at least she is. Old enough that the GF is able to go on a vacation with her friends and to have the freedom for the BF to be hassling her nearly non-stop about sex and discussing whether that leads to marriage, but young enough that she’s still (1) indoctrinated in the idea that sex makes you damaged goods or whatever and (2) not able to tell this dude to fuck right on off for pressuring her into doing something she doesn’t want to do.

    #852515 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Eh, she’s said no. And they haven’t had sex. Has he really anywhere in this letter described all this pressure as that constant? Or is everybody adding to it rather greatly in their heads?

    I honestly have no idea.

    That said. If you don’t want to ever have fucking sex — male or female. Don’t date. Or date somebody else who feels the same. Wait until marriage and see how THAT works out.

    #852516 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    NEWSFLASH: it’s never ever great.

    #852518 Reply
    avatar
    Fyodor

    I would say that they’re at least out of school. I think that if they were in school, he’d refer to it as spring or winter break or some such.

    “I decide to compromise because I knew she was going on vacation at the end of the 3 month period and we could resume once she got back. This vacation with her girlfriend was planned and paid for before we met”

    #852519 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Also equating somebody wanting to have consensual sex with someone as sexual assault is quite the reach.

    #852520 Reply
    CurlyQue
    CurlyQue
    Participant

    Pressuring and manipulation makes it less consensual obviously.

    Also, i dislike LW’s wording that he decided to compromise by respecting her wishes but expected her to be ready to jump into bed with him after her vacation. I’m not really sure why her vacation was the deadline or why he expected her to be different when she got back.

    As with any relationship LW, if your needs aren’t being met and you’ve talked about it then you MOA. She’s obviously aware of your want to fuck her and has told you her reasons for waiting so MOA.

    As a side note, the more pressure you put on a woman and the more importance you put on sex the less interested she’s going to be in having sex with you.

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