This topic contains 28 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by Kate 3 months, 1 week ago.
December 5, 2017 at 12:29 pm #728544
@Fyodor, I didn’t think they were really having sex at all… I read it as 2-3x might be ok by him based on what he told her, but that’s not what’s happening. I do think he may feel pressured and / or stressed though. And also, he seems to have really traditional family values, and maybe sex with a wife isn’t as much of a turn on.December 5, 2017 at 12:41 pm #728547
Well I guess I have sort of an update- be sent me a text a few minutes ago apologizing to me, saying that I’m not smothering him and I’m not the problem but that work is. He got a big promotion when we returned from our honeymoon, and has had a tom of work dumped onto him.. He said the stress from it has been suffocating him and he can hardly focus on anything without stressing about work..
He said that he loves me and it’s bothering him that him being so distant because of it is upsetting me- and that me being unhappy is making him feel inadequate.. But that the work load shoukd ease up within the next few months and things will be back to normal..
So my fingers are crossed. I didn’t jump down his throat or ask anymore of him – just thanked him for letting me know thus and told him that I love him and will do whatever I can to make his life easier…
Now to answer a few questions- I’ve stopped trying to sleep with him because I’ve felt he’s not interested, but I’m not withholding sex. If he wants it I’ll be more than happy to oblige – but as some of you said on here I feel like maybe I’ve been pressuring him too much and need to try and leave it alone. My pregnancy hormones are telling me to get it in while I still can- but I need to be realistic and realize we do have put whole lives together.. YmThis has sucked, and hurt- but if especially if it’s because of stress, it’s something O need to get over and try to not make it about myself if he’s the one who needs help right now.. I just wish hed been more open about it soonerDecember 5, 2017 at 12:59 pm #728549
Just keep in mind that this is a common issue for married couples and it’s one that a lot of people successfully resolve or manage.December 5, 2017 at 6:08 pm #728589
But you told him the gross crusty boxers weren’t to be left on the floor anymore right?December 5, 2017 at 6:28 pm #728590
Wet and sticky, not crusty.
OP, I’d do some soul searching about whether you want to be in this kind of marriage. I’m not saying get divorced, but maybe think about renegotiating the terms. Do you want to not work, long-term? And be the wife of this guy who is the breadwinner and doesn’t share his stress with you or think that you can handle any stress? And he had this whole private realm at work, and your realm is the house, that you have nothing else to do but keep clean? And pick up soiled underwear? If that’s not what you want your future to look like, do something about it.