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Dear Wendy

My Mum is anti-vax

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This topic contains 19 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by avatar Essie 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #829700 Reply
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    Apple

    Hi, I’m 14 years old and my Mum is anti-vax and vegan.

    Our family is a bit complicated but I believe a little back story is needed.

    I am the eldest of my three siblings, my brother & sister are 9 and 5 years old. We all have different fathers but the same mother. My brother and I both get to see our fathers, which means we both get our vaccines and meat and dairy.

    My sister however doesn’t get to see her dad for reasons I won’t explain, this means that she both doesn’t get her vaccines or the full diet that I believe children should have (nothing against vegans).

    What I’m most concerned about is the vaccines, my sister is really young and I don’t want her getting hurt in any way, but my Mum is very set in her beliefs and she won’t be changing them any time soon, believe me I’ve tried.

    Is there any advice you guys can give me? Also please don’t bash my Mum too much, I don’t agree with the things she’s doing but I still love her and she’s been through a lot.

    #829710 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    Well there’s a good chance your sister will get hurt or possibly cause someone to die, and that is your mothers fault. The diet isn’t such an issues but the lack of vaccines are. All you really can do is tell your mom how you feel and/or tell a trusted adult or school counselor. Sadly people are allowed to do this bullshit and risk others lives.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by avatar JD.
    #829717 Reply
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    brise

    Yes, speak to your school conselor and explain how worried you are, and hoy unfair you consider the situation. Ask him to have a common talk with your mother in his/her presence so she can understand that you are concerned and afraid for your sister. The difference of treatment amongst the siblings is not a good thing either. You say your mother went through a lot. Perhaps she needs an other adult’s advice to realise this issue, and to get some help by a specialist who will know how to talk to her. Give it a try, so you will have done your best and it won’t be bad for her.
    But at the end of the day, you are a minor yourself so there is not much you can do about it, but focus on your own education and grow up with this knowledge about what you will do later in your life. Unvaccinated children are protected by the vaccinated majority.

    #829719 Reply
    TaraMonster
    TaraMonster
    Participant

    I also have parents who believe whacky shit against all logic and evidence (luckily, they understand the importance of vaccinations), so I totally sympathize. Unfortunately, convincing your mother is really the only option you have unless you can track down your sister’s father and somehow convince him that your mother is doing something that puts his child at risk. But there are a whole of of issues and consequences that could arise from that course of action and I doubt it will have the outcome you desire. There have recently been measles outbreaks in NYC and Washington State. I don’t know if this will have any impact, but maybe you could leave a newspaper open on the kitchen table with an article discussing the outbreak displayed prominently. She might simply scoff at it, but at least she’s being presented with the information. I’m sorry this is happening- for your sister and for everyone she comes into contact with.

    #829720 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    You won’t convince an anti-vaxxer of anything because they believe the media and medical profession are controlled by big pharma.

    What are the laws about vaccinations where you live? If they’re required except in the case of religious exemptions, your sister should be ok. It’s when states allow personal belief exemptions that the unvaccinated population reaches a threshold where deadly outbreaks happen.

    #829722 Reply
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    TheRascal

    I’m so sorry that your mom is an idiot. You are right to be concerned for your young sister; your mother is putting her at terrible risk.

    At the moment, there is a terrible measles outbreak in Washington state that has been declared an emergency.

    https://www.cdc.gov/measles/cases-outbreaks.html
    https://www.cnn.com/2019/02/04/health/washington-measles-outbreak/index.html

    Does your mom know that the so-called study 20 years ago that has largely lead the anti-vax movement has not only been debunked, but the “doctor” who ran the study was fraudulent in his reporting?

    #829724 Reply
    Skyblossom
    Skyblossom
    Participant

    Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do in this situation. You won’t convince your mum that your sister should have vaccines and your mum is the only person who gets to make this decision unless the law requires vaccines where you live. I understand that this makes you worry but your sister will have to wait until she is an adult to get vaccinated. At least your sister will be able to make her own decision when she is an adult. Not yet, but when your sister is a teen I’d tell her more about vaccines and give her the positive benefits of them so that she will hopefully want them when she is an adult.

    #829728 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    Another thing – if she goes to a private college, she will probably be required to get vaccinated at 18.

    The outbreak in Washington state: that state has the personal belief exemption that I mentioned above. You can opt out of vaccinations for your kids for any reason. You aren’t required to submit documentation of a religious objection. So the percentage of unvaccinated kids got above 9% or whatever it is. Generally that does not happen.

    #829729 Reply
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    Northern Star

    You can’t change your mom’s mind. Anti-vaxxers don’t figure it out unless they experience deadly consequences personally.

    The good news is your little sister is PROBABLY pretty well protected through herd immunity because of other responsible parents.

    If you live in an area that has a measles outbreak, tell your mom point-blank that she’s risking your sister’s life. Maybe she will relent with ONE vaccine for measles now that your sister is older.

    Good luck.

    #829749 Reply
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    Kate
    Keymaster

    I also just want to mention, I don’t think anti-vaxxers are stupid or idiots or selfish or whatever, I think they just believe what they believe, whether that’s religious or they simply really believe vaccinations are dangerous to kids. Yes, the latter has been debunked, but they believe doctors and scientists are controlled by corporations.

    I do think it’s a waste of time to try to change their minds, though.

    #829754 Reply
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    cdobbs71

    If I had children I would have concerns about vaccines as well (don’t jump down my throat….i’m not an “anti-vaxxer”….i have a PhD in molecular biology and consider myself an educated and open minded person)….the problem isn’t so much the vaccines its the preservatives and additives that are added (thimerosol which is ethylmercury is a neurotoxin, formaldehyde is a known carcinogen, aluminum is used as an adjuvant, antibiotics which can cause allergic reactions and antimicrobial resistance and msg)….so they are not without risks and repeated exposures from different vaccines and boosters means you are exposing a developing child to these toxins multiple times….you have to weigh the benefit with the risk….i would choose not to have a vaccine unless there was a risk of death (say bird flu outbreak)….i think its better to let their immune systems fight as much as possible to develop natural resistance

    #829756 Reply
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    JD
    Member

    I think it would be best not to get into a debate about this as it will go on for days and few will have anything positive to say about your perspective. But do stay the f away from my kids.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by avatar JD.
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