- This topic has 14 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 7 months, 3 weeks ago by Lisah.
November 28, 2019 at 10:00 am #861827CETGuest
You and your sister are way too enmeshed with each others lives and she is very manipulative and emotionally controlling. My advice is to get your own place, be independent, set boundaries with her, do not give in to her manipulations (still be kind, but stick to your guns). Pull away. She has to live her own life. You live yours. Honestly, moving to a different state is what I would do. I have a dysfunctional family and moving to a different state was a life changer for me. I don’t have to be a part of any of the drama. I live my own life. I have a great marriage and great friends. Something to think about.March 5, 2020 at 11:06 am #877025FYIGuest
To me, this has “unreliable narrator” written all over it. The LW just has so much to say about what a villain her sister is, and what a hero she (LW) is — paying all the bills, listening attentively, doing everything sister wants, etc. I’m not sure what’s going on here, but LW seems to be looking for validation that her sister is horrible. Why? Why are you so resentful, LW, when it seems you have the means to take yourself out of this situation? It doesn’t add up.
Moving in with a guy after 10 months is usually a mistake, esp since you’re so young.
I mean, make that mistake if you want, but why do you need all of us to co-sign your storyline about your sister being evil? That’s weird.March 5, 2020 at 3:14 pm #877029LisahGuest
Please read the following signs for codepency. I will not be arrogant enough to diagnose with one letter but a healthy person gets their own apartment and sets boundaries. As others have said please get your own apartment and get back in therapy.
Signs of codependency include:
Having difficulty making decisions in a relationship
Having difficulty identifying your feelings
Having difficulty communicating in a relationship
Valuing the approval of others more than valuing yourself
Lacking trust in yourself and having poor self-esteem
Having fears of abandonment or an obsessive need for approval
Having an unhealthy dependence on relationships, even at your own cost
Having an exaggerated sense of responsibility for the actions of others