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Dear Wendy

My Sister who has not matured beyond age 4

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  • #872627 Reply
    avatarMcdonalds
    Guest

    Before we get into my vent, let me warn you: I have a lot of swears. If you are uncomfortable with that, do not read. Thank you!

    My sister actually used to be the mature one(not that I’m mature, but maybe semi?) She was quiet, and would always humor me. I was the brat, and yelled and screamed and threw tantrums. My baby years lasted till one summer morning when I was 12.
    Me at 12: Man this is boring, I could do so much more with my life. OMG WAIT, I CAN DO THAT.
    So then I actually started trying to do school. (Ending up with straight A’s and one B, so I’m proud.. Remember, effort makes the dreamwork.)
    (But we’re not here to brag, okay maybe a bit but anyways..)
    So after summer ended, I made a miracle on the first day of school: I woke up early. Like 7 AM early. By myself. Without an alarm clock. Now that was a breakthrough that really motivated me.
    ANYWAYS jesus, I’m getting off track. And I don’t have that much swears? Well fuck. ANYWAYS.
    So let’s fast-forward; I’m 13, my sister’s 16. (She’s turning 17 very soon..) Anyways so now that I am no longer a toddler(only semi-toddler.. old habits die hard) My sister has become the toddler..
    However, I do not humor her like she has me… So I argue and we argue.
    Now she is in a state where she just throws tantrums.
    It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen like.. once a week? I don’t know.. But there’s always her little tantrums like when we gotta sleep.
    And I’m like, ok, (name) it’s 1 AM let’s go to sleep. (Actually I’m more boorish like: Time to sleep.) (And yes we sleep at 1… don’t question it. Usually 12 AM though but it was a holiday)
    Shit I’m revealing too much. OK I’m GONNA TRY TO BE VAGUE.
    ANYWAYS.
    Today we had another fight but this time, she decided to be the most fucking petty(idk how that word is used.. but WHATEVER.) person ever.
    So me and her? We’re social outcasts, and one day parent wanted us to go out to shopping for fun.
    She agreed because it was morning and she was like: why not.. But then she regretted it when the time came.
    I don’t like to speak out and disagree because whenever I do it just helps my sister who can’t say a fucking thing.
    Then mid-conversation the topic comes up.
    I still held a grudge(TOLD YOU, SEMI-MATURE.. quarter immature) about the time my sister tantrum’d her way out of an awkward trip with grandma and ma. I ended up being there in the middle as they argued. Kept a straight face entire time, still proud. (Fuck am I narcissistic?) ANYWAYS.
    I was like, can I stay home this time and you and ma go out? Yes not very mature of me, but I was still mad at that.
    Her: gets angry
    Her: walks over to mom
    Her: (Name) Doesn’t want to go out.
    Me: WHAT THE FUCK(I do yell too btw, that’s why it’s quarter immature.)
    And that’s that… I don’t feel that angry, and it wasn’t as sweary as I expected. But that’s that.

    #872628 Reply
    avatarMcdonalds
    Guest

    Forgot to mention when I fucking tried to resolve our issues with each other and continuing arguments.(Due to anonymous advice)
    But she acted like it was a fucking normal and healthy thing for us to fight and yell.
    AND IT PROBABLY IS BECAUSE SIBLINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO FUCKING YELL AND HATE EACH OTHER RIGHT?
    In short: She didn’t want to talk to about OUR problems.
    Sometimes I feel like she’s just hiding in a bubble trying to forget any problems.

    #872632 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    You sound bonkers. I only skimmed this but yeah.

    #872637 Reply
    avatarHowdywiley
    Guest

    I have no clue what this crap is.

    #872638 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    Wow!

    #872640 Reply
    Kate B.Kate B.
    Guest

    I can’t even follow this, except for the part where you think your sister is hiding in a bubble. I think I see why.

    #872641 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    I think she’s hiding in a bubble because she’s fucking tired of you fucking annoying her all the fucking time.

    I know you probably just learned the word and you think you’re totally edgy and cool for saying “fuck” every other word but lord, it’s such an obvious affectation that you sound ridiculous.

    Look, if you don’t want to fight with your sister….don’t fight with your sister. It really is that simple. Yes, siblings sometimes get on each other’s nerves. But you’re choosing to blow it up into a big drama.

    #872642 Reply
    Kate B.Kate B.
    Guest

    Yeah, I remember when I first learned how to swear. I thought it was cool, too. My first swear word was “shit”. It’s still a fave.

    #872643 Reply

    I know you would think that at 17, your sister would be the mature one, but that’s not actually the always the case. Being 17 is HARD, and your sister doesn’t have the emotional life skills to deal with it yet. This is basically true of all 17 year olds.

    But it’s also temporary. You will both grow up and out of this. In the meantime, just give your sister space – it’s what she’s craving even if she can’t come up with the right words to say that.

    #872646 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster
    #872658 Reply
    avatardinoceros
    Member

    I don’t understand what the question is. Siblings fight. You both sound like you’re not really trying to get along and are just sort of letting your tempers get to you. Either make an attempt not to fight or just wait until you are adults and hopefully more mature/move out.

    #872665 Reply
    avatarMcdonalds
    Guest

    I just calmed down and actually I learned swears at age eight. I was in a swear phase then. I’m a bit saddened everyone is attacking me but I can understand. I was trying to lift that off my chest, but I think I’m just looking for empathy. I don’t talk about this much. It’s just like my sister yells at everything. And she doesn’t want to talk about it. I heard from a friend she doesn’t want to be angry, but I don’t really see her try not to be. And I remember she usually pretends our arguments didn’t happen? I don’t know, it’s just like our day resets. And we’re back to normal. Also it isn’t a question, just me venting. I guess I picked the wrong site..? Sorry. It honestly just feels like I’m the only one trying to make me and my sister happen. I’m actually really quiet outside of typing. (I do talk comfortably with my sister though.) Everyone keeps telling me the same thing: I’ve gotta be the bigger person. But you can see I’m immature. I’ve only gone one year from my bratty years, and I’m still learning. I don’t want to grow up. But I will eventually. It’s just I can’t see any positives to my sister. It’s like she can be calm then angry the next. I’m the same, just quieter and stick to one emotion. Oh and I’ve tried to outgrow the phrase “Age is wiseness” but I always feel like I’m the older sister. I just feel like she’s my younger sister? I don’t know. I wrote this when I was angry, but I can’t really justify anything. It’s just what I felt. And swearing doesn’t feel that liberating. But anyways, what is this? https://dearwendy.com/topic/im-worried-for-my-16-year-old-sister-am-i-influencing-her-negatively/. This is also my post, I’m gonna admit that. I’m really emotional despite my straight uh face. Please be more understanding. It’s a bit weird to get emotional over anonymous posts(Referring to me). I just feel like if you really met her… I can’t really say, but we do online school. So at least the pressure of socialness is gone! Please excuse my vents. And by bubble… Actually she’s more social than me. But anyways, I’m young so I need to learn more about life. Once I’m 17, I’ll come back and review what I have learned. Maybe my relationship with my sister will change by then. Thanks. (What you’ve been saying has been repeated a lot so I can see that I have to man up/woman up and learn life.)

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