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Dear Wendy

My Sister who has not matured beyond age 4

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Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 35 total)
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  • #872673 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    Sorry you’re having a hard time, but you don’t have to “make” you and your sister “happen.” She’s your sister; you’re gonna know each other a long time. It is not easy being 17. You’ll see. Try not to monitor her ups and down so much.

    It is sad (to me) that you’re both doing online school, because you could really benefit from being away from a computer screen and out in the world with other people. Try to be with real people in real life as much as you can, okay?

    #872702 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Ok, look, in addition to being and sounding extremely young, you seem unhinged. Like you aren’t able to articulate complete thoughts or a narrative that people can follow. You’re just kind of free-form raving. It reminds me of the dozens of emails we get per day from my MIL, who’s 80 and showing disturbing signs of a mental health issue. She fixates on certain things, repeats herself a lot, blames and lashes out at other people, and doesn’t make sense. She sounds a lot like the POTUS, who’s also clearly in a serious mental decline. But you’re only 12 or 13, so it’s not a dementia thing. It’s either you need to get out of the house and talk to people more, or maybe something is going on with your mental health and you should talk to your parents about seeing a counselor.

    Your sister just sounds like a normal teenager who’s doing the best she can. You sound like you need to get some help. I’m not trying to be mean, but that’s my honest reaction to the voice I’m hearing in your posts.

    #872706 Reply
    avatargolfer.gal
    Guest

    It sounds like you’re very isolated- home schooled, you refer to yourself as social outcasts, and it also sounds like you share a room with your sister. Also, your one social outing was going clothes shopping together. That is waaaaay too much time together and not enough time in structured activities and with other people your own age. Being 17 is hard, and being 17 stuck 24/7 with your little sister is a lot harder. Her entire life has been so small, and I’m sure she’s feeling that keenly. You also don’t sound, frankly, well. Rambling and nonsensical. You need a mental health checkup and some counseling.

    Please tell your parents you want to see a counselor. Also, tell them the current model of being “social outcasts” alone with your sister all day isn’t working. Check out the local home school organizations in your area. They do a lot- field trips, organized activites, dances. You should absolutely be involved regularly with other home schoolers. Also check with the company that does your online schooling. Pick an activity you’d like to do- learning an instrument, taking an exercise class, playing a club sport and tell your parents you want to start it. Your sister should do the same, as well as learning to drive and getting a part time job.

    She’s at most 2 years from graduation and she needs to think about her future, and so do you-mediocre home school grades with no social skills and no extra curricular activities is not a recipe to get into college, or to thrive there. I’m alarmed at the state you seem to be in from your writing, and by what appears to be a dangerously isolated life. You and your sister may both be suffering from depression or anxiety, or something else. You should both ask to see a counselor (separately) and for some major changes in your lives.

    #872753 Reply

    Beyond the homeschooling thing, your sister is 17. To anyone 17 years old, their younger siblings are annoying little shits. Do you think you fit that bill?

    Leave her alone. Stop picking fights and bugging her. Just back off. You guys spend way too much time together. When I was 17, all I wanted to do was spend time with friends outside of my house. I had a younger sister and we had our own friends and social lives. We’ve stayed close by giving each other room to breathe.

    You’re not more mature than she is. You’re incoherent, rambling, and I think you should do some extra work on your editing skills.

    #872758 Reply
    avatarMcdonald
    Guest

    I want to clear up,a few things: me and my sister actually get along. The only problem is when we argue. I get annoyed because I feel like I constantly have to baby her, but I know that’s not right. I never edited my posts, that was just me rambling my emotions. My sister once told me that her tantrums were normal. I thought she was pulling my leg, but I see now, maybe it is. It’s just so annoying to hear her whine, stomp, and it’s always my fault. Maybe I’m self victimizing? I don’t know, but I think I’ll just keep my mouth shut to avoid conflict. I’ve revealed too much, I was way too honest/open. Our life is complicated, with our mother and all. I don’t want to explain, but anyways, I know I’m actually the one who needs to grow up. Warning: critical self victimizing probably. I’ve always been the talk of the family, my back hunched and all, and I’m unhealthy. I’ve gotta improve. Maybe I’m actually envious of my sister? Sorry, this is getting long. See ya around maybe.

    #872763 Reply

    I mean edit what you write before you post the long, incoherent, rambling, nonsensical story.

    #872765 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Like, this right here is rambling and unhinged:

    “ Our life is complicated, with our mother and all. I don’t want to explain, but anyways, I know I’m actually the one who needs to grow up. Warning: critical self victimizing probably. I’ve always been the talk of the family, my back hunched and all, and I’m unhealthy. I’ve gotta improve. Maybe I’m actually envious of my sister?”

    That’s a lot of ideas all jumbled around and not making sense. I don’t know if it’s that your online education hasn’t taught you to write coherently, or if this is a reflection of your mental state, but either one is concerning.

    #872767 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    You seem very isolated. And you have a difficult mother. I hope you keep reaching out to other resources other than your family. Where I’m at there’s a huge homeschooling population. There’s hybrid schools, bands, chores, field trips, sports teams. The public schools around here are required to admit homeschoolers for electives & teams. Research what your area has to offer and petition (pester) your parents to join in. You need to make your world bigger

    #872779 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    I’m not going to get on your back about rambling. It’s okay. I had a feeling there was something up with your mom — because of the online school thing.

    Try to relax. Breathe. Don’t worry about your sister. Try to be involved with real people in the real world as much as you can. Don’t do all your connecting through a screen. Okay?

    #872780 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    Just a reminder: this person is THIRTEEN years old and in a “complicated” situation.

    #872782 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Sounds like it.

    #872784 Reply
    avatargolfer.gal
    Guest

    I’m…worried about this family. Are there other, real life people in your life you can talk to? Other adults who might be able to help you? You need interaction with people your own age. You need time apart from your sister, and she needs time to be an independent person. You need structured activites like field trips and writing groups to help you learn- doing lessons alone on the computer isn’t enough. You need friends and activities. I have a feeling a lot of the issues you’re experiencing are because you are spending your life 24/7 alone in a house with your mom and sister. Is there a counselor through your online school program that you can call? A chat function to reach out to a teacher? Do you feel safe bringing up some of these issues to your mom? Reach out to anyone you can.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 35 total)
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