Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Need Coronavirus Advice

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  • This topic has 8 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 4 months ago by avatarAnother Jen.
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  • #885913 Reply

    I need advice. My roommates/best friends are I moving out this weekend from our apartment and we will go our separate ways. Two of them graduated from university, so they will be moving home while looking for jobs, and I will be moving into a new apartment. This weekend was supposed to be our last time to hang out and spend time together. However, I just learned that m roommate’s parents who are coming to help her move are possible carriers of the coronavirus. Her brother, who is coming with, learned that his co-worker has the coronavirus and he likely has it now, however, he won’t show symptoms for a while I’m sure. The parents also likely have it now as a result, yet they are driving over 5 hours to help my roommate move and are spreading the virus all throughout the state wherever they stop. Both my other roommates do not take the virus seriously. They are ignorant about it and don’t think it is an issue even in the slightest. I am personally in the middle. I’d love for things to go back to normal, but I also think it is important to be responsible about the virus and keep our community safe by taking precautions so that this will all be over sooner. They don’t share that same view. They go wherever they want, and think the whole virus thing is a joke.

    They have now put me in a tough position. The parents are staying the night on Saturday and so I will be exposed to them all weekend. They will also be in my apartment with all my stuff, so no matter what, I will have to come back here to move my things to my new apartment.

    Do I move out early on Friday before her parents get here? Do I not spend this last weekend with my best friends? What if the brother and family end up not actually having the virus and I gave up this opportunity to spend with people I love?

    It is all a matter of ethics, I suppose. I don’t want to be responsible for giving the virus to others, and possibly being the reason someone dies. But I also don’t want to miss out on seeing my friends one last time. What do you think?

    Last note: My friends have been really rude about the whole ordeal. They think I am overreacting about the whole thing. They are really amazing friends, but I fear I will lose them if I leave early.

    #885915 Reply

    Move out early. They know your position. You are worried about it. If I ever saw a case of Murphy’s Law this is it.

    #885921 Reply

    Leave early or literally wear a mask and gloves and spray sanitizer every sixty seconds. How reckless! I’m sorry you have to deal with that, it’s got to be really disappointing.

    Could you tell them you’d feel a lot better if everyone wore masks and were responsible around you? If they’re your friends, even if they don’t “believe in the virus” they should respect you enough to be able to do that much. If they won’t, leave early.

    #885922 Reply

    If he’s been exposed, he should be quarantining for two weeks. What an asshat.

    #885925 Reply

    I’d personally move out early.

    #885927 Reply

    Move out early. Don’t bother asking them to maintain social distance, wear masks, etc., ’cause they won’t do it. That’s obvious. Just treat it like a no-brainer thing — “Yeah, y’all know I’m taking all precautions! That’s just me! See you on zoom!”

    Decide which is more important: your health or people-pleasing.

    It’s not the last time you’re gonna hang with people you love. Just keep repeating over and over and over and over: “Yeah, I know, but I wanna take all precautions.” Be a broken record, and don’t explain any further.

    #885931 Reply

    Move out early. Get far away from these people

    #885955 Reply
    Dear WendyDear Wendy

    Move out early. If you lose these people as friends over protecting your own health and the health of anyone you may come into contact with, then these were not people worth being friends with longterm anyway. The post-college period is a time of reflection anyway, and given the current circumstances, that will be even more true. You may find yourself re-evaluating friendships with people whose values you don’t share. That’s not a bad thing. What IS a bad thing is the incredibly selfish and short-sighter and, frankly fucking stupid way your friends/roommates are behaving. MOA, literally.

    #886328 Reply
    avatarAnother Jen

    This isn’t a friendly case of not seeing eye to eye. They are willfully and consciously choosing to put you and any number of people they encounter in harm’s way. What’s the upside of sticking around? You get to spend one last weekend with some asshat friends who don’t care about exposing you to serious illness…and their parents? While they move? That sounds miserable. The downside is obvious: they give you COVID-19, you’re critically ill for months (assuming you’re one of the lucky ones who doesn’t die), and, oh yeah you get lots of other people sick while schlepping your own stuff to a new apartment. This is a no-brained. Move out early.


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