Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Need help talking to a guy!!

Home Forums Advice & Chat Need help talking to a guy!!

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  • #1109840 Reply

    Hi! So there’s this guy I sort of like and want to get to know better, cause I don’t know him too well as we’re like mutual friends with someone else.

    Anyway, I have no trouble talking to the other guys in this group. Of course there’s sometimes a pause because we’re not that close at this point, but with the guy I’m interested in, I find conversation is a little harder. It’s not that he’s unfriendly, he just comes across as quieter and maybe more introverted than the others.

    That being said, I’m not sure if I’m the problem & I’m doing/saying something wrong, or if he just doesn’t like me (romantically or platonically), or if he’s just hard to talk to and it’s not me at all.

    Any advice for this, or talking to shyer/introverted guys?

    #1109847 Reply

    Have you asked your mutual friend about him? Because I’m not shy, but I am an introvert. It doesn’t mean I can’t or don’t like to socialize, it just means it’s draining unless it’s someone I really enjoy. I am very social and can be the life of the party.

    To me, he sounds not interested and that you’ve tried a fair bit so maybe just treat him normally and you will see what happens, but I wouldn’t expect much.

    He sounds very hard to talk to.

    #1109858 Reply

    To get an introvert talking – ask them questions about their hobbies and interests. What kind of music does he like? What was his best concert experience? If he could follow any band on tour, what band would it be? Favorite movie? Why is it his favorite movie? What’s his favorite scene in the movie? Does he have a book or graphic novel that he thinks would make a great movie? Does he have any hobbies like LARPing or geocaching?

    Shit like that. I mean, prepare to be bored out of your mind because people will talk endlessly about the things they love while everyone else’s eyes glaze over (I mean, I can go on and on about my hobbies to the point people are asleep) but you’ll get to know him.

    #1109884 Reply

    I find a little bit, not a lot, of alcohol, can be a good social lubricant perhaps next time you hang out as a group go to a bar and have some beers? It could be that he is interested in you as well and being an introvert finds it difficult to talk to you, but if you get him a little buzzed he might relax enough to open up.

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