- This topic has 8 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 3 months, 1 week ago by Miss MJ.
SofiaJune 21, 2023 at 10:36 pm #1123407
I am currently living in a different city for an engineering internship. I am a 20 year old female with a Hispanic parents back at home. It is important to note that they also do have my location on an app I am required to have if I want to live with them and get the privilege of them paying for my phone and car insurance. My boyfriend of almost 2 years is going to visit me soon for my 21 st birthday and we got a Airbnb to stay together so I wouldn’t have to bother my roommates with him being over. I wanted to stay over with him in the Airbnb for the weekend he is here to celebrate my birthday but I am not sure how to mention or ask permission to my parents. They have are against sleeping together before marriage etc. So I wanted to ask for advice on how to approach this if I should even tell them at all
I mean, you could have a conversation with them where you thank them for all they’ve done for you, acknowledging their values and beliefs, be open and honest about your intentions and what you’re doing to be safe, listen to their concerns, and find a compromise, but… you know they’re not going to say ok sure sweetie, stay in an Air BnB with your boyfriend and have premarital sex, we are cool with that upon reflection.”
So I’d recommend you skip that conversation and just do what you want. If at all possible I’d have him stay at your place. If your roommates say no, then have him stay close by and visit him but don’t stay there.
While your parents are supporting you, unfortunately you are not a fully independent adult.AnonymousseJune 22, 2023 at 8:56 am #1123414
I was just going to say, why not just leave your phone at your house? Unless you thin’ there’s any possibility your boyfriend is an ax murderer or you’ll need to leave real quick, I’d just circle around their parameters.AnonymousseJune 22, 2023 at 8:56 am #1123415
Or you could off the Airbnb to your roommates?AnonymousseJune 22, 2023 at 8:57 am #1123416
If you can afford it, you can also get a second cheap phone to bring with your while you leave the parental supervision phone at home.
Yeah, as long as your parents are supporting you, you’re under some amount of obligation to follow their rules. But you’re under no obligation to report everything to them. Parents with unreasonable demands should expect their children to wriggle around them, especially when those children are grown-ass adults.Miss MJJune 22, 2023 at 3:45 pm #1123422
Yeah, I was going to suggest getting a burner to forward your calls to and leave your phone at home overnight. Move it around some, though, during the day, so it isn’t as obvious. It’s sneaky, but parents who use money to control their adult children’s lives – including sex lived – kind of force those adults to not be completely transparent.