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Neighbors that are hypocrites

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  • This topic has 22 replies, 8 voices, and was last updated 1 month ago by avatarBlurg.
Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 23 total)
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  • #969680 Reply
    avatarstr8upgirl
    Participant

    Hi All I am new here, I came across your forum looking for some help with dealing with stupid neighbors. I want to write the perfect letter letting them know how stupid and petty they are.
    This is the issue. This time of year I have a large Christmas light display that has lights and the lights dance to the music. During this time and for the past 6 years, I park my car in front of the next door neighbors house. I am not blocking any drive ways and I am not in anyone’s way. I do this so my light show can be seen. The 2 new neighbors (2 different households)have come together and they dont want me to park there. The HOA laws say that when a resident can park in their own garage / driveway they are required to do so. I go to work every day and my husband works at night, so we are parked in that spot for about 4 hours a day during this time of year. The first time I heard anything about this is when the neighbor left a rude note on my car window ” PARK IN FRONT OF YOUR OWN HOUSE!”. I responded by leaving a note on my car window by saying, “MERRY CHRISTMAS, I HAVE BEEN PARKING HERE FOR THE PAST 6 YEARS, AND NO ONE EVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT. I AM NOT IN YOUR WAY AND I AM NOT BLOCKING ANY DRIVE WAY. I AM ONLY PARKED HERE DUE TO THE CHRISTMAS LIGHT SHOW IN MY YARD. WE ONLY PARK HERE A FEW HOURS A DAY. ME PARKING HERE DOES NOT CAUSE YOU ANY HARM. HAPPY HOLIDAYS” The next day, she leaves a note on my car that said ” DO NOT PARK HERE!!!” and she signed it HOA. I went to work and looked up our CC&R’s and found that when a resident can park in their driveway/garage, they must do so. While I was at work, the neighbor moved her car and parked on the street where i was parking. There is no reason for her to park here, she has a garage and open drive way where she can park. Her and the other new neighbor were outside making this plan to park in the spot that she didnt want me to park in. So. this neighbor thinks its ok for someone else to park there, but not me. The thing is too, is she is actually breaking the HOA rules, and I wasnt. The rules say no one can park longer than 24 hours at any given time, and the parking spaces should be for people who cant park in their garage /drive way.I want to write a letter to both of the neighbors asking them why its ok for one neighbor to park in front of their house for the sole purpose of keeping me from parking there, and why its ok for them to break the HOA rules. I want them to know how petty and how selfish they are being, and how they are acting like 6 year olds. I want the letter to shame them for acting like this during this time of year and during covid. All the neighbors love my light show, for the past 6 years, then scrooge moves in, and wants to act like this. We live in a cult-a-sac and the only place to park without blocking a drive way is that one spot. Can some one give me some help with writing the letter? I want it to be written in such a way that it makes them feel about 2″ tall.

    • This topic was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by avatarDear Wendy.
    #969740 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Oh dear. No one can help you write a letter that’s going to have that effect, because nothing you say is going to change their mind. I promise you. All that’s going to happen is you’ll be in an all out war with your close neighbors, and that’s a real bad idea when you own a home. Anything you do at this point except obey the HOA rules is going to make you look unhinged. Unfortunately you do need to follow the rules. A musical light show isn’t a valid exception to those rules unless there’s a clause written in to that effect. You need to back down from this now to save face, not inflame the situation where you’re starting out in the wrong.

    #969746 Reply
    avatarFYI
    Guest

    You want to exact revenge (make them feel 2″ tall) during — as you say — this time of year and covid, and THEY are acting like 6-year-olds? They don’t want your car in front of their house, and that is the rule.

    A hypocrite is a person who says one thing, but does the opposite. They aren’t being hypocritical. A hypocrite would be someone who says they love Christmas while demeaning other people.

    Escalating this is NOT (repeat: NOT) going to help you at all. If anything, you could show true Christmas spirit (that’s what the lights are about, right? spirit?) by apologizing and being friendly.

    #969784 Reply
    avatarKarebear1813
    Participant

    you reside in a subdivision that has a HOA policy. It would be best to speak to whom ever is over the HOA to clarify the do’s and don’ts before both of you end of being neighbors at war. Most streets are public property so anyone should be able to park wherever unless it is deemed private. You don’t get dibs because you were there before them. That’s not how it works. At the end of the day would it be worth it having your car damaged over parking in front of someone’s home? People can be crazy, pick your battles.

    You say, per HOA policy, if they have the availability to park in their own driveway and garage then they must before parking on the street, right? Well does that not apply to you regardless of your Christmas light display?

    #969791 Reply
    avatarLisforLeslie
    Guest

    I don’t understand this problem. You have a place to park your car on or in front of your property. To celebrate a crap-tastic year you’ve decorated your house, similarly to what you’ve done in the past. And those decorations are to spread joy and happiness. Instead of showing some compassion or wanting to keep peace for your cranky-ass neighbor you’ve decided you want to write a scathing letter that makes them feel bad?

    Is your driveway or garage involved in this lightshow? Is there some sort of tour group going around neighborhoods on a nightly basis and they’ve complained that they can’t see your lights because there is a car in the driveway or in front of your house? What do you get out of winning this “war”? Just the right to feel superior?

    #969793 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    It is easily possible that your neighbors regard your musical dancing light display and more nuisance than pleasure. Certainly your neighbors don’t value the display as much as they do an unobstructed view of/from their own house.

    Unless your HOA built and maintain the roads within your development, they have no right to dictate parking on a public street. Just because a road is within a development doesn’t give an HOA control. It’s possible they do own and do all maintenance on the road. We have some development roads like that here, but an equal number that are controlled by the government.

    If the HOA controls the roads, then you and your neighbors each have to follow the rules. It does appear that you have the selfish attitude that your wishes (an unobstructed view of your light display) must trump their wishes.

    Excessive lighting displays are unecological.

    #969813 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    I am baffled as to why you simply don’t park in your own garage or driveway. As somebody who literally used to decorate movie star homes for Christmas, I fail to see how a car in the drive even blocks that much of display. I mean —- really —- just how big is your vehicle? How small is this display? Again, the logistics here confuse me.

    Trust me. The only thing ANY letter will succeed in doing is making you look, well, really, really bad.

    Sorry, but truly… you are in the wrong here. Especially, if the HOA expressly states that you are, which it seemingly does.

    #969825 Reply
    avatarHazel
    Participant

    Where is the nearest other place you can park? (I’m assuming you are US and I understand that different rules may apply from what I am used to-)- have you considered asking one of your nearby neighbours who really do enjoy your show if they would be happy for you to park outside their house? They’d probably be more than glad to. It’s best to get on with neighbours and much though I love a light show, if it was right next to me I’d see tolerating that with good grace as enough of a contribution.It’s probably lovely but it also probably flashes in their windows when they may not be in the mood, for whatever reason, maybe getting a very serious phone call, maybe having a headache,- it seems they don’t complain about your light show which is great, isn’t it? That’s be a real bone of contention. But you can just step back from this and I would if I were you.Hope all ends well.

    #969830 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    The easiest solution is to park your car in your garage/driveway. Its not going to distract from your lights. But you’d rather battle your neighbors and write demeaning notes to them. Its like you’re looking for conflict & drama. You’re certainly looking to escalate it. Fueding with neighbors is miserable. I can’t believe you’d rather fight with them than put your car in your driveway

    #969840 Reply
    avatarKarebear1813
    Participant

    Here is an idea!!
    Why not incorporate your vehicle into the Christmas displace by adding a Rudolph car costume on it.
    https://www.amazon.com/Rudolph-Red-Nosed-Reindeer-Officially/dp/B07HGDW6VV

    Also, Hazel’s advice to find a neighbor who wouldn’t mind you parking in front of their home is a pretty good idea!

    If you were my neighbor I would love you but I don’t think I would love you as much if you were blocking my front view.

    #969841 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    If you car truly does block the show somehow —- find a neighbor who does like the show and park in front of their home. You might have a slightly longer walk. But there shall be peace…

    #969842 Reply
    avatarBittergaymark
    Guest

    Oh. Hazel beat me to it! Great minds!

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