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Dear Wendy

Nephew’s / Godson’s Wedding invite

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  • #1097319 Reply

    I have been invited to my nephew/Godson’s wedding. I have not seen him for at least 15 years. I have nothing to do with my sister or her family. I really want to attend his wedding, but don’t want to be seated with my sister or her husband and my niece.
    Looking for advice on should I even attend this wedding or if I attend should I send a note in with the RSVP card explaining that I would rather not sit with my sister, her husband and my niece. Looking for some solutions to this quite awkward situation. The reason for the problem with my sister is she got our father when he was dying to sell her the rights to our family home for quick claim deed of a $1.00. All because I married a man from another country and they believed he just wanted to marry me so he could stay in this country and then take off with 1/2 my money and divorce me. I was also told if I don’t like it go live elsewhere. By the way we just celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary last month. My husband is making the ultimate sacrifice by attending this wedding with me too if I decide to go.

    #1097326 Reply

    Can I suggest an alternative? Can you send your nephew a letter saying how much you want to see him and connect outside of his wedding.

    You can send a nice gift; you wouldn’t be able to spend much time with him that day anyway.

    I see little reason to put you and your husband through the torture of spending the day in your sister’s orbit.

    #1097336 Reply

    You are too resentful to go and behave as a proper guest. A wedding is not the place to prove a point (i.e., that they were wrong about your marriage). The invitation may be some kind of olive branch they’re extending, and you’re going to respond with demands about seating? No. Just… no.
    You can’t diss the groom’s family at a wedding. It doesn’t seem like you’ll be able to get past your anger and act amicably toward them, so don’t go.

    #1097369 Reply
    Dear Wendy

    I think if you aren’t prepared to see your sister, you should politely decline your nephew’s wedding invitation. You can send a nice card and gift if you feel inclined. Whatever you do, please don’t mention anything to your nephew about your hesitation to sit next to his mother/ your sister. If you decide you can handle sitting next to her – which you may or may not have to do if you go to the wedding – then definitely accept the invitation, go to the wedding, be a gracious guest, but be prepared to have pretty little to do with the groom and his bride and much more interaction with other guests, some of whom you might know besides your sister?

    #1097754 Reply

    Great. Another guest trying to make somebody else’s wedding all about them and their agenda!


    #1097869 Reply
    Bess Marvin

    What makes you think you’d be seated with your sister? I’d think as parents of the groom, his family would be seated with the bride’s/other groom’s parents or at some type of table of honour, not seated with other relatives — especially not with relatives they have been feuding with for two decades?? Surely your nephew is aware of the rift, why would he want to cause extra drama?

    Don’t ask for special seating. If you can’t stand the thought of interacting with your sister at all, then politely decline and send a card and a gift, offer to take your newphew and his new wife/husband out to dinner or somesuch. Give him the gift of no drama at his wedding.

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