Neutral advice needed

Home / Forums / Advice & Chat / Neutral advice needed

  • Author
  • Kitten324
    April 10, 2023 at 10:44 am #1119589

    I moved to australia a few years ago for a work live experience. I had an Australian passport so said I’d use it. I had friends there and my sister was there long term. I never planned on settling there but was enjoying the lifestyle and was doing well in my career. Fast forward 3 years and my dad was really unwell. I planned to fly home for 6 months to help with him. Whe I got home and things were going well after about 4 months or so.. I started applying for new jobs in oz. This did not settle well with my family. My mum was incredibly horrible that I wanted to go back to oz and said soem pret try cruel things. My dad didn’t say anything as he was recovering and already felt guilty enough. My sister is oz has a lot of guilt for living there long term so she generally does not approve of me being in oz either. Then we got some pretty bad news that my dad relapsed so I decided to stay. Fast forward 4 months and my dad is doing well. I moved out of home and got job however I’m feeling really unfulfilled that I didn’t get to finish my tiem there , I’m als feeling a lot of resentment towards my mothers because of how mean she was to me. We haven’t spoken in months which is sad but she doesn’t see anything wrong with her behaviour. Now that my dad is doing well I thinking of going back to oz in a few months to live
    And leave on my terms when I’m ready. No one is my family is happy about this. My dad feels guilty and said to do what makes me happy. My sister is saying that I’m 31 and shoudl be moving so much as life changes a lot in my 30s. My friends are encouraging me to go. I am 31 and single so I am aware going there I might be cutting myself off romantically as I know I don’t want to settle there. But I don’t really encourage that mentally as I could also just not meeting someome at home either. I feel so conflicted. All of my stuff and furniture and everything is in oz so mentally I have one foot in two countries. This is consuming me and I really need neutral advice. I know I will upset m parents so much but now that I have my own space I just feel I need to live my own life.

    Avatar photo
    April 10, 2023 at 5:46 pm #1119590

    I’m sorry your dad has been dealing with health issues.

    Go – you already know it’s what you want. You are a grown woman and it’s your life. Live it for you, not for your parents or anyone else. If they get upset, that’s on them to deal with their feelings about it. You’re not responsible for how they manage their emotions. Kids everywhere grow up and move away from home and parents everywhere learn to accept that.

    Also – your sister is being kind of shitty. She does not have the right to tell you how to live your life either. If she feels so guilty about being far away from your parents, she could get therapy or move home or find some other way to deal with her feelings that doesn’t involve trying to get you to give up your dream so she can live hers guilt-free. Gross.

    Go, and have a wonderful time.

    April 10, 2023 at 8:00 pm #1119594

    Absolutely go.

    Your mom is absolutely in the wrong to guilt you. You do not owe her an explanation. You don’t have to have a relationship with her at all if she just makes you feel bad.

    April 11, 2023 at 1:26 am #1119595

    Hi so I recently started dating this guy, and every time he texts me I overthink his texts and I get in my head. I just told him “I’m really bad at texting, I’ll just call you tomorrow.” But he hasn’t responded, I’m worried he may not like me anymore or think im annoying

    April 11, 2023 at 6:30 am #1119598

    @Faith you need to make your own thread if you want advice. But yes, what you did is kind of high maintenance and annoying. People don’t like to or have time to talk on the phone, especially in early stages of dating. You need to get better at texting.

    April 11, 2023 at 7:19 am #1119599

    Go! You want to and you need to do what you want. Everyone else is living their lives for themself, so why not you?

Reply To:

Neutral advice needed

Your information: