Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Not sure if to break up or continue the relationship

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Viewing 12 posts - 73 through 84 (of 97 total)
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  • #743599 Reply
    avatarSpaceySteph
    Participant

    Yeah I’m with Fyodor on this. If he doesn’t want his kids to dye Easter eggs, there is nothing inherently wrong with that, but it does indicate that you’re not a good match for him. Also the fact that you went immediately to being devastated about easter eggs shows that you aren’t suited to this relationship either. Sounds like you need to seek out someone you have more in common with, religiously.

    I’m in an interfaith marriage, I’m Jewish, my husband is Catholic and as part of that we have to negotiate what traditions matter most and how to adapt them in ways that make sense for our family. It’s work, for sure, and it also requires compromises. Not every is willing to compromise on matters of religion and that’s ok, it just means you need to seek out and date people who don’t require that much compromise.

    #743601 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    Well, the two obnoxious points are that he stated this adamantly, because he’s a Christian, as if she as a Catholic isn’t Christian and then decreed that this potential (likely?) dealbreaker (not the Easter eggs per se, but rather his insistence that his rather narrowly unique view of Christianity must prevail in the raising of any future children). The Easter eggs portend a lot of other significant religious and life-style/cultural differences, which I suspect he doesn’t want to bring up now, because he knows it is a glaring incompatibility which will cause a split and end his ability to take advantage of her in this very one-sided relationship.

    #743705 Reply
    avatarbaccalieu
    Guest

    I was also scratching my head at: he’s Christian but I’m Catholic (uhm, which you know is also Christian, right?). I’m assuming she means he’s an evangelical christian. However, I’m coming around to feeling that there really is something wrong with this guy. The whole battle of wills at the restaurant over the check and the conversation afterward seems like it ought to have been a scene from a movie. It almost seemed like it physically pained him to pick up the lunch bill. Either he’s an irredeemable cheapskate or…. well that’s pretty much the only option. I suppose it’s possible to have a decent relationship with a cheapskate, as long as he has other good qualities and you don’t let him take advantage of you, but it doesn’t seem like the LW wants to live like that (she believes that the way things should be is that each person just naturally pay what they feel like paying and if one pays one day the other will make it up to them without asking, so essentially she’s coming unarmed to the gun fight) and they have other issues, so, yeah….that’s the end of that.

    I have to say that I enjoyed to a ridiculous extent reading the back and forth comments about me. There really must be something wrong with me that I love it so much when people pay attention to me. There were some really perceptive comments. However, what I really don’t understand is how invariably people misunderstand what I am saying. Maybe, like Cleo, they don’t read all the way through which, given the length of the comments, I can understand.
    You people do realize that it wasn’t the LW or any specific person that I was calling whorish, right? What I was referring to was the belief that “If a man doesn’t spend at least some cold hard cash on you, regardless of whatever else he does, and regardless of whether or not you reciprocate, he does not value you.” This doesn’t directly apply to the situation here but some of the commenters said something like this and I was rather hoping they would tell me that I misunderstood them and they meant someone else. I’m sorry if the word I used was inappropriate. I didn’t think that you would feel it was akin to an obscenity. How do you feel about the belief that if a man doesn’t lay out cold hard cash on you, he doesn’t value you, period, end of story? Do you think it’s a reasonable view?

    #743706 Reply
    avatarRuby Tuesday
    Guest

    How is that view relevant for the purposes of providing advice to this LW, as it does not apply to her situation?

    #743707 Reply
    avatarKate
    Guest

    Please go away. You’re not interested in giving advice, you’re only using this site and this forum community to draw attention to yourself. You’re an irredeemable creep and maybe worse. You’re obviously not trying to learn anything or be “better.” You just want people to talk to you / about you. I’m going to start deleting your useless comments about yourself, with no discussion. If you want to give actual advice, take a shot at that, but you’re no longer getting any visibility here.

    #743708 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    Woooo hooo! I appreciate and respect this decision. Young women, or anyone who reads this site, do not need to hear bad advice, or more accurately, long pointless explanations for why women should allow men to be creepy, abusive, gaslighting, etc jerks to women.

    Good riddance.

    #743710 Reply
    avatarKate
    Guest

    Yes, that kind of “advice,” which is really just defense of your own creepy inclinations, will also be deleted without any discussion.

    #743720 Reply
    avatarJD
    Guest

    Really I prefer a man provide my dowry in the form of cattle but I just don’t have the land these days.

    #743726 Reply
    avatarDear Wendy
    Keymaster

    Bacc is no longer welcome to comment on this site, either in the forums or in the comment section. Women have to put up with creepy comments like his enough in other places on the internet and offline; he does not need an additional platform, that is supposed to be comfortable most of all for women, to spout his creepy, predatory, anti-women rhetoric. Good-bye, Bacc.

    #743727 Reply
    avatarKate
    Guest

    Roger that!

    #743737 Reply
    avatarSkyblossom
    Participant

    Thanks!

    #743816 Reply
    avatarkeyblade
    Member

    I just saw this! When I saw Kate’s link earlier, I figured it was to one of the many other instances Bacc had been advised to stop thread-jacking under the guise of offering advice.

    As a loyal reader, I gratefully support the efforts to keep the comment sections hospitable to the predominately female readership. Thank You!

Viewing 12 posts - 73 through 84 (of 97 total)
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