Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Partner might be going prison

Home Forums Get Advice, Give Advice Partner might be going prison

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 76 total)
  • Author
  • #849035 Reply

    So my partner might be going prison.. he gets sentanced soon. His mother knew a drug dealer for so many years as a friend and her and my partner eventually got involved in handing out bags they thought wasnt class as,to them to sell when telling them their outside which they gave to them, when there was no one else to do it. The police have been watching everyone involved and because the drug dealer had a secret stash somewhere other than his car and house of class As, and some weed, police have charged everyone with the same thing, they see it as an organised “gang”. Even tho his mum and him fell out for quite some time only bought a weed off him before they arrested them. The main people are in custody my partner and mum are on conditional bail. My family know but are just supporting us both, they know how sorry they are and they have never been in trouble before .. I am 17 he is 19, and he is the father to my child. Some of my family members have been in jail and have completely changed their life’s around. My family believe in second chances so I think that’s why their sticking by them. They think they are lovely which they are. They are very sorry for even being involved with them, and his mum feels guilty, but they understand how stupid they was the drug dealer made them think they was all friends I suppose, in my eyes. I just feel like I can’t talk to my family openly about how I feel cause I don’t think they want me to keep going on about it. I’m just scared, I mean how can they put them away if they don’t even know what’s in the bags? Has anything similar happened to anyone else and what was the outcome? Need some serious reassurance!

    #849041 Reply

    Your partner may be going to jail because he was dealing drugs. Whether the drugs were Class A, how his mom had a falling out with the dealer (then why was she at his house?), what the drug dealer “made” them think, etc. — all of that is irrelevant. He was dealing drugs and got caught.

    You have a kid to think about. The best reassurance I can offer is to hang out in places where this kind of stuff is not normal. That is the best shot you can give your kid. In your current environment, going to jail, having a baby at 17 (16?), and blaming the police is all normal. Is there anything you can do toward getting an education? Anything at all that will put you in an environment where people aspire for more? Any way you can gain a skill that will make you some money? You are likely eligible for social services somehow; use them to get up and out.

    If he goes to prison, the use that time away from him to make life better for you and your kid, probably far away from your family.

    #849043 Reply
    avatarMiss MJ

    FYI is right.

    I don’t have any reassurances for you, because this isn’t really an OK situation. Yes, people make mistakes. Yes, some people turn their lives around. But, I have no way of knowing whether your boyfriend will do that. The odds aren’t great, to be honest. It’s much harder to get a good, legit job when you’ve been to prison. Does he have any skills? An education? Actual, definite plans to get either?

    Frankly, at 17 with a baby, you should be focused not on your boyfriend, but on your own stability and getting whatever services you can to obtain an education and some solid career options so that you can take care of your child and get her out of an environment where the stress, worry and uncertainty of people going to prison is common. Regardless of what happens with your boyfriend, your child is going to be your responsibility, no matter what, and you owe it to your child to make her life better than this.

    #849045 Reply

    To those above, I have a job and currently on maternity leave I go back in 7 months. And they aren’t bad people theyve messed up. People mess up. Not put this post up for negativity even though you are entitled to have your opinions. I want to hear from people who’s had similar issues. He’s never been in trouble before neither has his mother.. and I do focus on my daughter? I want her to have a bloody dad not in jail. And please do not come to the conclusion I am a shit mother because I’m a teen mum going on like I don’t want the best for my child.. best mother I can be.

    #849047 Reply

    They know how stupid they are. They fucked up basically, my life’s great, his would Be if this blip didn’t happen in their life’s. And this was way before I knew I was pregnant & he wasn’t “dealing” drugs. I know the facts

    #849048 Reply

    And going to jail will not be common with her growing up? Sorry but the stuff your all mentioning is irrelevant to my post.. I have a job so did he, stuff happened so I’m asking for some answers if anyone’s been in same situation..
    I have a job social services feel the need they don’t need to be involved he isn’t a risk no one else is as they’ve now said. I need support not lecturing on something that’s done, I want the best for my daughter end of. I want her to have a dad, btw who is a good person just mixed up doing the wrong things.

    #849049 Reply

    “I mean how can they put them away if they don’t even know what’s in the bags?”

    Really? They were assisting a known drug dealer with his illegal drug dealing business. Saying you didn’t know what was in the bags isn’t going to help their case, no one is going to let them off the hook for being stupid. Like, really f’ing stupid, sorry. Or your partner is lying to you, more likely. And I assume they weren’t doing this out of the goodness of their hearts, they were getting paid. So yeah, your partner and his mom were dealing drugs.

    I suppose if they cooperated in testifying against the dealer they might get a lighter sentence? I really don’t know. It also may help if they have totally clean records, but I don’t know the laws where you are. He’s probably going to jail for some period of time, yes. And that will affect his future employment prospects.

    Do you really believe they were helping this guy for free and didn’t know what they were dealing?

    #849050 Reply

    You’re right! Everybody is wrong! Dadfy is a real winner! Hurry! Quick! Make more babies!!

    #849051 Reply

    An individual who is selling things has a responsibility to figure out what’s in them first if they truly don’t know. If you aren’t sure what’s in it or aren’t sure how illegal it is, then you don’t sell it.

    #849052 Reply

    I know you’re young and have a lot on your plate so I’m trying my best to be as sensitive as possible to you. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, it all sounds so hard. Will you tell us what kind of reassurance are you looking for?

    I don’t think this is the right space if you’re hoping people will tell that things will be fine with you and your boyfriend and he’ll get out of this without any consequences. We just don’t know what will happen. What we do know is that you’re in a very difficult environment and you need to do what’s best for you and your baby’s safety. Hang in there.

    #849053 Reply

    Also I don’t think anyone is calling your boyfriend a bad person. We’re just stating that he made bad decisions which reaped consequences.

    #849054 Reply

    Maybe if he came clean and admitted what he knowingly took part of, they’d cut his time down. Especially if this really is a first offense. My guess is, they were watching this place for awhile and have more than one bit of evidence to convict. Face the facts, your bf was selling drugs. He was paid to, either in cash, drugs or other favors. Nobody does that for nothing.

    You want support, well you need to be realistic and do what’s right for your daughter. Does that mean visiting daddy in jail? Maybe. You say people turn their lives around after prison, but plenty don’t. It’s hard to get a job, let alone a good one. It remains to be seen what happens, so my suggestion would be to ask for the truth and try to be as prepared as you can for the next step. His mother seems like a pretty bad influence.

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 76 total)
Reply To: Partner might be going prison
Your information: