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Private cell phones in long term relationship

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This topic contains 97 replies, has 15 voices, and was last updated by avatar TheRascal 6 days, 19 hours ago.

Viewing 12 posts - 13 through 24 (of 98 total)
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  • #836624 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    My husband and I don’t have each others phone passcodes. I’m really not sure in what kind of emergency I’d need his? Or vice versa?

    There has been a couple times I’ve asked him to answer my phone if it rings and I can’t get to it. Or to text someone back when again, I can’t get to it. That’s about it.

    #836625 Reply
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    sunshine883
    Member

    emergency for needing his phone code ICE – idk maybe pictures on his phone i dont want his kids seeing?!! not reading our personal texts.

    #836626 Reply
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    sunshine883
    Member

    how does your husband text on your phone without your passcode?
    and everyone who shares these are distrusting and insecure? i don’t think so – i think they are a close couple who don’t have secrets or anything to hide.

    #836627 Reply
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    ktfran
    Participant

    Because my phone is tied to my work, I have to change my 6-number passcode every six months for security reasons. So, like the two times I have asked him to text someone back, I gave him the passcode. Maybe he remembered. Maybe not. Even if he did, I have to change again anyway so whatever.

    ETA. We work at the same company and he has to change his passcode the same as me.

    The point is, neither of us cares. I have no clue what his passcode is and I’m not bothered by in it the least.

    No, I don’t think everyone who shares passcodes are insecure. I think you are though and you and your boyfriend have bigger problems than the phone thing.

    • This reply was modified 1 week, 1 day ago by avatar ktfran.
    #836629 Reply
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    sunshine883
    Member

    So if when you get back together he says I have no problem doing that and then when you ask for it, he refuses that’s a downright lie. Unacceptable.

    #836630 Reply
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    JD

    Your reasons for wanting his passcode are the problem. No, a relationship does not require you to have this. My husbands told me his when i needed to use his phone and vice verse but i don’t even remember it. Realistically st some point you’d likely know it but that comes due to a need not because you don’t trust him, which you don’t. You need to break up due to that not because of a passcode. Why would you want to be with someone you don’t trust anyway. Needing his code would be for like, directions while he’s driving, not to check up on him. My husbands texts come on his iPad he leaves at home and I’ve never looked. I only even know they do because one day the darn thing kept beeping and was driving me bonkers so i went to turn the volume off and they were on there, hence the beeping

    #836631 Reply
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    sunshine883
    Member

    Really and why is that kfran when you don’t know me from Adam?

    #836632 Reply
    Copa
    Copa
    Participant

    I think insisting a boyfriend give you this information is weird. You’re not entitled to it. I don’t know my boyfriend’s passcode and I don’t care. (And on the flip side, adamantly refusing on his end and ignoring you for weeks at a time over it IS shady.)

    With the additional details you provided, yeah, he’s probably still talking to other women and hiding things. You have bigger issues than your passcodes. Your boyfriend of three years ghosted you(!). It sounds like he proposed and rescinded. He talks to other women when you’re on breaks that only he knows about. And yet you’re still with him. Why? I don’t blame you for not trusting him. Leave!

    #836633 Reply
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    Oracle

    And just why are you still with him?

    #836634 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    My husband and I have all the passcodes and everything out of utility. I’ve never snooped through his phone or computer or read his text messages unless he’s asked me to. Sometimes it’s silly stuff like he’s making meatballs and his boss is texting him.

    I think for you, sunshine…your relationship is full of distrust. You don’t trust him now. He’s ghosted you in the past, and taken away an engagement ring. Haven’t you written in before about him? You are willing to stay with him no matter what he does or how he treats you (he gives you the silent treatment!) out of desperation. Please, look in the mirror. Is this the person you want to be? Are you that afraid of being alone? Being alone is better than being with someone you don’t trust.

    #836635 Reply
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    anonymousse
    Member

    He’s cheated on you. No one has a breakup without the other person knowing. What would he have to do in order to drive you away? That’s a serious question.

    #836636 Reply
    bittergaymark
    Bittergaymark

    Sunshine… initially I merely thought you were out to lunch on this. Now I know… 😉

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