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Dear Wendy

Reading text messages

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  • #862488 Reply
    avatarAnne
    Guest

    My boyfriend of 5 years has recently seemed distant, we got in an arguement and he told me to leave his house (which I live in with him). Because I thought I might of noticed him looking at female’s pictures on his phone and because of asking me to leave I looked through his text messages and read alot of messages between him and his best friend putting me down, even calling me a lazy [email protected]#ch. His friend told him there are hundreds of single woman that would want to date him. We have talked and are trying to repair the relationship. I haven’t told him that I read the messages. I’m very hurt that he was allowing his friend to put me down and by his comments but should I leave it in the past and work on the present or confront him?

    #862493 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    Yikes. This relationship is already over. There is no repairing it when it’s this far gone and the guy has no respect for you. You don’t need to confront him about those texts – how will that change anything? You need to just end it and move out.

    #862494 Reply

    What’s to repair?

    He kicked you out of the house.
    There is no trust.
    He doesn’t think highly of you.

    #862506 Reply
    avatarcdobbs
    Guest

    the fact that he was trash talking you behind your back is so disrespectful….i would end things with him

    #862509 Reply
    avatarOracle
    Guest

    You need to get your stuff and be gone. Block him and have nothing to do with his friends. Lots of fish in the sea.

    #862510 Reply
    avatarPDX816
    Guest

    Why the hell would you want to be with someone who talks about you behind your back? You don’t trust him, and he doesn’t respect you. There is nothing to save here. Start to find a way to extract yourself, get another job, make other living arrangements. This relationship is dead.

    #862524 Reply

    Ugh, no. Please leave. He has no respect for you. You’ve been with him for five years and he kicked you out of (I assume) your shared home and talked badly behind your back?

    #862536 Reply
    avatarEssie
    Participant

    Should you leave it in the past? But it’s not *in* the past. It’s in the right-now. He is currently talking trash to his friend about you. He recently threw you out of your own home. You have such strong suspicions that he’s looking for your replacement that you violated his privacy by reading his texts.

    Some signs shouldn’t be ignored. And not all relationships last, because some aren’t supposed to last. Don’t make the mistake of fighting to hang onto a bad relationship.

    #862553 Reply
    CurlyQueCurlyQue
    Participant

    MOA. I’m sorry that this long term relationship isn’t going to be your forever relationship but better to end it now than sink another 5 years into it.

    #862557 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    This guy doesn’t love you. He doesn’t even like you. He’s using you for money & sex. Dump him so you can walk away with your dignity. Don’t wait for him to find someone to take your place and dump you

    #862578 Reply
    bittergaymarkBittergaymark
    Guest

    Eh, an awful lot of people — frequently women — bitch to me about their spouses.

    It’s called venting.

    Has everybody on here REALLY never ever vented to your girlfriends?

    The real issue here is he kicked you out. What exactly happened there?

    #862581 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    I vent about my husband but I’ve never called him a lazy bitch. Or any other name

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