Dear Wendy
Dear Wendy

Reading text messages

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  • #862582 Reply
    avatarHelen
    Guest

    Or kicked him out of his own home. There’s a big difference between venting and this behavior. LW, please don’t brush this off as something everyone does. It’s not

    #862584 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    I don’t know who these people are that are calling their spouse a bitch behind their back, but that’s not normal. I don’t bitch about my spouse to anyone, and my friends don’t bitch about theirs to me.

    PS, these two aren’t married. He’s been distant, they fight, and he kicked her out of the house. None of that is healthy.

    #862585 Reply
    avatarKate
    Keymaster

    My husband is on a group text with a bunch of guys. None of them talk about their spouses. They might be going through something in a relationship, but they don’t directly say shit about their spouse.

    #862588 Reply
    avatarAnne
    Guest

    We had plans to visit one of his relatives, I wasn’t feeling well so I didnt go. He went and when he came back I said you didn’t text me while you were gone to see how I was feeling. I was kind of expecting him to because I usually will ask how he’s feeling if I know he’s not feeling well. One thing lead to another and he said just leave. I have been living with him in his house for 5 years. I have my own house in another state that I rent out. These texts were ugly, more than venting. Even mentioning some of my close family members which have nothing to do with anything.

    #862591 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    Yeah, I’d MOA at this point. I’m sorry Anne. That sucks.

    To BGM’s point, my friends and I don’t bitch about our husbands to one another. My best friend was going through a difficult time with her husband and their special needs children (the first down syndrome, the second has a form of dwarfism and was an extremely difficult baby) and she would confide in me about some of her struggles. But no, we don’t sit there and say nasty things about them. Anything I’d say to my friends I’d also say to my husband’s face.

    #862594 Reply
    CurlyQueCurlyQue
    Participant

    It does seem awfully ridiculous that when he came back from visiting family you got on him for not texting and checking in on you. Why should he? You’re an adult and can text him if you were feeling better/worse. You KNEW he was seeing family. If i was him that would bother me too. Not to full blown kick you out of the house territory, but it was definitely an unnecessary nitpicky thing to bring up.

    If you don’t want to MOA then you can suggest couples counseling (where you should also bring up the text messages).

    #862599 Reply
    avatarktfran
    Participant

    Really? You wouldn’t check in on someone you supposedly cared about if they were sick/weren’t feeling well? Not one “Hey, how are you holding up?” text?

    I’m saying this as someone who spends Christmas away from her husband and we only text good morning and good night during that time. I would check in if he were sick though and ask how he was.

    #862609 Reply
    avataranonymousse
    Participant

    I think it’s pretty clear your relationship is in serious trouble if you’re trash talking your partner like that.

    And let’s not forget, he kicked her out! Jeez. This is done.

    #876052 Reply
    avatarron
    Guest

    Couples counseling isn’t always a good answer. In this case the answer is MOA. Find a place to live, you’ve already been kicked out. Your relationship is done, trying to refloat it with couples counseling is just a waste of $ and further contact with a guy you should not be contacting.

    #876059 Reply
    avatarAndrea Letsen
    Participant

    I’m sorry for what has happened.

    I am speaking from experience when I say please take care of yourself and leave this guy. Reading your post was like reading my own experience almost exactly. It does not get better, he will not improve, the man you are hoping he is and staying for does not exist in him. Don’t waste yourself on someone who doesn’t care about how you feel, who calls you a lazy bitch and degrades your innocent family. You know you deserve better and there IS better, I promise!

    xx

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