AlizaJanuary 6, 2024 at 6:14 pm #1127523
Hi, so I’ve been dating my partner for almost 5 years now. We are currently in a long distance relationship since I’m pursuing my higher studies. We both have talked about wanting to get married to each other eventually since right now we are pretty young. The thing is our parents don’t know that we are actually dating. We started out as friends and then eventually started dating so they know about us being friends but we haven’t officially told them that you know we are dating actually. I think it’s important for us to atleast introduce ourselves as a couple to our families so that they get time to spend with us and are not blindsided later on. Again both are parents and us are Indian so that changes the nuances of the situation a bit. We have agreed on the idea of introducing each other. But I don’t know how to initiate the conversation with my parents. I know what to talk about but I don’t know how I should initiate it what should I do ? It would help a lot if anyone could provide some idea on how I could tackle this situation that would be great.Part-time LurkerJanuary 8, 2024 at 9:00 am #1127537
Hi Aliza! Normally I would say, just find a quiet time to sit them down and say, “X and I have been friends for a long time and we really care about each other…..” or just let things happen naturally at the next family get together without over thinking it. But your fiancé and family are from another culture and I think it’s important to get some more details in order to give you the best advice. The most important question, in my mind is, why have you been keeping things a secret for the last 5 years?
Hi! Not Indian, but have a lot of desi and SE Asian friends… which doesn’t exactly qualify me to give solid advice about the cultural elements at play, but if you’re anything like my friends, I understand there are many parts of your personal life you keep private from your parents.
I don’t think announcing that you have a boyfriend warrants a sit-down conversation and in any case, assume you are away at school. If this were me, I’d slip it in during a phone call and not make it a big deal. Mention your plans together that weekend and make it clear that it’s a date. If they have questions at that point, they can ask.