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i literally need help i type this crying i have had enough. so last year i started highschool right? let me tell you it was horrible. hell. everyone seemed to love highschool and made friends, but me. i wasn’t getting bullied, but i was always alone as i am too scared to talk to people or whatever. i don’t mind having no friends because ik highschool literally doesn’t matter and everything but it’s driving me insane. feel so bad inside like i’m losing my mind. i changed 3 highschools already. first cause i was the “quiet kid” of the class and they would sometimes make fun of me, i would do anything to not go there anymore, then second cause this same situation+i wanted to switch to science, and here am i in the third one, 10th grade, i started 2 days ago. nobody talks to me, i feel like im not from there, everything is bad i dont know anything and the teacher told me to yk share thedesk like desk mates with a guy that is literally making me so uncomfortable, idk how to explain it, i hate it sm. we kinda knew each other cause we would see each other in the bus so often before i moved to “his” (this highschool) so its even more uncomfortable. i feel judged, left out and reaallyy nervous. i have like 35 weeks left and i literally dont even wanna think of going there anymore. ik that from this post it doesn’t seem that bad but believe me it is. the teachers are also bad and i know some kids from this highschool like other grades and its even more uncomfortable and weird. i literally dont know what to do. everyone has the highest expectations from me and i feel so judged and idk like this is really not my place. im tired of changing and moving highschools as this is the third one already and so are my parents, i really wanna change again but tf am i gonna do change highschools every year until i graduate tf?? so what do i do just anything pls im going batshit craazyyðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜tomorrow i have to go again
Hi. It sounds like you have a severe lack of confidence and probably have social anxiety. If that is the case, changing schools is not the answer,as you will just take your issues wherever you go. If you have access to therapy or counselling,I would go. Ask your parents about that route if you can.
If you are super quiet etc.,try to push yourself more. Maybe there is someone else who seems to be struggling and you could start with saying hello and maybe befriend them a little. You may also be perceiving that people are judging you,when you are likely too harshly judging yourself. Some self help books on shyness and confidence maybe help you too. Do not give up,keep looking for ways to improve your situation,right where you are.I hated high school. Hated it. Therapy is absolutely needed and I really think you should talk to your parents about potential medication either an anti-depressant or anti-anxiety drug. As adults we forget how raw a young person’s emotions are. I remember being very emotional, but it’s been so long that I can’t resurface those feelings. Like the difference between remembering that it was painful when you broke your leg and being in pain because your leg just broke. Those are two very different moments.
You have to have some way of coping with being the quiet person. Are there any other folks that are general “outsiders”? Those were my people and they got me through the years. We were the outcasts and pretended like we didn’t care about anything (we totally cared).
Sometimes people suck. And people make themselves better by being cruel. I can’t tell you how to not care, but I can tell you that 4 years is both eternal and short. You are stronger than you realize; you need to figure out how to put emotional distance between you and your classmates and just get through this one day at a time. Do as best you can to get good grades, get into a good school (trade or college) and get the fuck out of there.
I think you know constantly changing schools is not the solution nor is it probably helping you get out of high school faster. You’re more likely to have education gaps switching around, too.
I was called a dyke at school and ostracized. I had cut my hair short in the late nineties. I love gay people, but I’m not a lesbian. The trick is figuring out how to care less about this social crap and focus on your schoolwork or actually addressing your social issues. You really need to speak to the school counselor, or an outside therapist. An antidepressant is often used for general social anxiety as well, and that might be something to ask your parents about. You need some social outlet. I can feel your loneliness but the irony is a ton of your peers probably feel the same way. Social media and behavior at school is often just showboating. Don’t sweat it so much, but don’t keep switching, you’ll be in school forever and your problems will only follow you.
So I didn’t have this exact issue growing up, but we moved often for my dad’s job and I changed schools on average every 1.8 years. (Can you tell I’ve done the math?) I was also shy, quiet, and unsure of myself. My anxiety ran very deep and would get pretty bad at the height of transitions. I’d not say I got bullied, but I do remember one school in particular where my classmates felt particularly mean. Typically, I’d finally start to feel settled by the time we moved again. Rinse, repeat. You’d think I’d have gotten good at making new friends at some point along the way, but no. I was not. When I had to change high schools with less than two years to go, I gave up and decided all I’d do was put my head down until it was time for college. By the time I got to college, I refused to study abroad because I wanted four years all in one place.
Anyway, I don’t think changing schools again is the answer. It sounds like your parents are somewhat in the loop since they must’ve been involved in the school changing process. Can you tell them you’d like to speak to a therapist? It sounds like you have a lot to work on, like anxiety and confidence. You could also ask to speak to your school’s counselor.
Being new — especially if you are coming in later than everyone else — is really hard. But the beginning is the worst part. If kids aren’t talking to you on day one or two, that’s not a reflection on you. I don’t think anyone is judging you. I don’t mean this as a slight, but I doubt anyone has noticed you yet, especially if you’re keeping to yourself. Something I wish I’d done when I was brand new in HS at 17 is say to someone who seemed nice in one of my classes, “Hi, I’m Copa. I’m new.” It’s so simple but it never even occurred to me back then. If you’re feeling brave, try it… especially if you see someone who is also by themselves. You say you’re into science. Is there some kind of science-related club you can join? I always did better in smaller, more casual group situations, especially if I knew we already had a shared interest.
Good luck. If it gives you any amount of hope, I’m now a very friendly adult! Who is confident! I can talk to anyone. I’ve moved around to new cities a bit on my own and learned the art of making new friends. People think I’m funny. (I am.) It gets better.
If you have so much anxiety that you can’t talk to people, you will struggle to make relationships forever. It’s probably best to get serious in therapy.
